I'm a fat cow. I hate being schizophrenic. I hate that only Zyprexa has worked for me so far. Zyprexa 1.) increases appetite, 2.) slows metabolism, 3.) increases drowsiness/sleeping time. I used to weigh 113, although at that weight and with my eating (or lack thereof) I was anorexic. Now I weigh 160-something and I have so much fat on me. My psychiatrist and doctor want me to lose weight, so I'm on a strict diet, but blech. I feel disgusting. I see the psychiatrist again on Tuesday. If I told her about my depression/suicidal feelings I know she'd have me locked up. I don't know how I'm going to finish school. I have no willpower. I don't care about anything. I don't know how I'm going to go back to work, either.