depression

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by cutiepie132, Nov 8, 2011.

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  1. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    How are you all doing? Hope great! I haven't been on much because I'm taking college courses now, and it is very time consuming!

    I have something bothering me, wanted you all's input on this. When a person tries to kill themselves, does it make that person crazy? I have never thought that just because someone gets to the point that they can't cope with life anymore. I think anyone, if their life got bad enough, could get to such a point.

    but.... we are still labeled as being nuts. how do you get that label off of you? Even if you don't get depressed anymore, your still going to carry that past history issue.. What do you do to escape it?

    Stupid question !!!

    I went to the doctor yesterday, this wasn't my doctor but a PA that works under him. I have an infection and it was making me dog tired. Where I'm studying, I can't be feeling that way.

    Well the nurse tells me that this PA wants to know if I am still taking toradol, and I'm like yes. I get this online, not through my dr. He brings up therapy and asks me why I'm not going anymore, and this and that. Whatever, paid no attention to it.

    It's charted in my medical records that I have substance abuse. Isn't this someone who is addicted to drugs? He mentioned where I overdosed on them, and get them online..

    Now I have taken too many meds in the past to control my pain, he didn't mention this, but it isn't like I didn't go ask them to help me, the pain was extreme. They did not exactly do anything to help to make sure I'd be okay.

    Where I have a connective tissue disease, they did not control my symptoms, they did not acknowledge the problem for an extremely long time, I was left so sick I'd rather be dead then alive, so I get these medications online and finally start feeling better. I just got the for sure diagnosis the other day, and that wasn't through a rheumatologist (the doctor that should), it was through my neurologist. He let me know under no circumstances that I have it and why.

    Sure, may be wrong of me to do this. But it's no more wrong than them not doing their job and not keeping my symptoms under control. I should not had to of lived that way.

    To make all this worse,, when the doctor left the room, I could sware I heard him tell someone something about the nut jobs that come in there, and that is right after he was done talking to me. I can't 100% sware he said that, but that is what it sounded like. What should I do? Just keep my mouth shut and pretend it didn't happen?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 8, 2011
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No i would not keep quiet at all on that one i would confront doctor saying you are a professional how dare you judge and ask him why he would say such a thing. I would definitely not go back there again or if you do ask for a different doctor to see you
     
  3. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    He's not my primary care doctor and no I won't be going back to him again. To run my mouth at him, that is really not going to help anything. I'm not going to feel any better by doing so. Like I said, I am not positive that is what he said, just sounded like it. So how could I go up to this doctor and have a one on one when I don't know for sure. Maybe I was mistaken?? Even if I am not, should I really go through the trouble of making this man understand why I've been depressed and why anyone in this world is capable of getting that way.

    Just makes you wonder what they say or think about you behind your back. My own doctor told me plenty of times that he doesn't think I'm crazy or think all this is in my head, where I'm sick, but.. how do I know he really feels that way. Unless he could prove so, I am not sure, really not sure, if I could walk back into a doctor's office and ever ask them to help me again.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    If it would not make you feel better then no do not talk to him then as you said not your doc anyways so you probably wont need help again.
     
  5. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    I do go to the office though for care, and I may talk to the doctor over top of him, which is my doctor. I'd like to just forget about it to be honest. I go back in a few weeks. If I don't talk to him about it, I'm going to be very hesitant about getting health care, really pending on if he really understands what I've been going through or not. If not, I walk. I'm not going to let a medical doctor treat me if they think in the back of their head I'm crazy. I haven't been depressed for awhile, since my daughter knocked the crap out of me, but the suicide thing, I don't know if one day, I'm going to end it or not. I really don't know if I want to live the rest of my life ill like this. I am pushing myself to see if I can have any kind of normal life outside of fatigue and pain. But I don't know, don't have a clue, if I will want to do that the rest of my life. Whatever I choose to do, it's my choice, it's my life! But while I'm here, I don't want to here such bullshit out of someone's mouth. I've had enough of that as is. I've been told I am crazy.. That I did it for attention, blah blah this, blah blah that. A stupid btch because I'm too weak to deal with my problems. Most people don't even have the first clue about how to be nice and understanding. So whatever..
     
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