Deserving of the pain?

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Rachael41, Aug 3, 2008.

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  1. Rachael41

    Rachael41 Well-Known Member

    Iv not self harmed in a while..and i thought i was doin well..but over the past week, iv done it non jst feels so good..
    Iv even hidden a knife, in my room and a razor in my locker at that if times r difficult ther i can do it on my lunch break........
    I knw its gettin worse, cos normally i do it wen im down or i do it if im simply bored ?

    i just want to know if anyone does it for these reasons? and if anyone has had the experience of their self harm taking over everything? cos i dont think im at that stage yet? but close to it

    i jst feel asthough i deserve the pain,and it makes me feel good?
    does anyone else, feel asthough u should bleed and thats y they do it?
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You don't deserve the pain
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    did anything happen to trigger you? i find the urges come in waves; and stress or something difficult in therapy (ie flashbacks to the abuse i exp. as a kid) sends me spinning out. what helps get me away from cutting again is talking about it to someone, like my therapist. she recognizes that it usually means we are going too fast in therapy and so it's like a red flag, it means take extra care with my feelings.

    you have stopped before so when you are ready you will be able to stop again. just think for a bit about what might have started you up again. and don't be afraid to ask for some extra help.
  4. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Feeling like I deserve the pain is one of the main reasons why I self harm. If you hide a knife in your locker at work and in your room I think maybe it has come to a stage where it is taking over. You said you haven't self harmed for a while... how long? what did you do when you got the urges to hurt yourself and do you know what made you return to it? Here if you want to chat. Take care of yourself.
  5. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Self harm is slowly taking over my life. I can't go a day without it know, and it's always on my mind. It is taking over my life, i've been doing it for three years.
    I do it because, i like to see the blood and sometimes i feel like i should punish myself, like i deserve to hurt so i know where you are coming from :hug:
    Hope things get better for you soon though.
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