It's been on my mind or a while. I've done so good for many weeks. But now, it's been niggling at me for the last week or so. I just want to, NEED to. Not that I want to really, but I think it'll help. I need a release rather than festering even more. God it sounds so stupid and silly and I really haven't the foggiest why I'm posting this even. Part of why it's been a while is because I haven't felt the need but also I needed scars to heal because of something. But I've no reason not to now. I can distract and similar but the need is still there. The hurt, the increasing anxiety... I can't explain other than saying it feels like I'm going to implode. I don't want to do so necessarily but I suppose if I were to, then all would be over. Sorry...talking in circles.