Today was a really bad day. From the moment I woke up I was feeling like crap. I just went bowling with a group of people which I thought would cheer me up but these feelings are just piling up now. I fear I'm going to be much more alone from now on, I just don't have what it takes to be around people anymore. I think I'm going to start eating Cipralex this weekend, I still have an unopened box from summer when I was prescribed it. I'm literally up shit creek without a paddle and now the boat has started sinking. Oh how I wish people would want to keep contact with me but it just isn't happening. Really can't blame them either because I don't think I would want to keep contact with me. I haven't had anything to drink yet but man I would kill for a few drinks now.