Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Lazarus70, Sep 14, 2016.

  1. Lazarus70

    Lazarus70 Active Member

    I feel like giving up. I can't find a full-time job. I blew up my life last January and it hasn't recovered. My degree is in social science. I'm not qualified for anything besides teaching but I can't do that anymore. I have a severely autistic son who I need to provide for and I can't find any work. I apply to 5-10 jobs a jobs, data entry, temp agencies, warehouses, shipping, human resources, accounting, museums, tutoring, adult education, college instructor, teacher training, Starbucks, Barnes & Noble,...nobody wants me or can only offer meager pay and hours. I've tried becoming a behavioral therapist working with autistic kids but it's only part-time...I quit my job so I can't collect unemployment. I'm either overqualified for jobs or completely unqualified and have no experience. I've tried working with the Department of Rehabilitation due to my diagnosis of depression....but it's a slow process and the weeks pass and my depression feels like a roller coaster. Today I feel so hopeless I wish I would get <mod edit - method>during a job so I don't have to burden my family with suicide. I'm 45 and my life looks like it's over. Time to lower my expectations and work at McDonalds....I'm not a snob. But I hate myself so much for destroying my life and jeopardizing my family's security because I was lonely. It's crushing to realize you achieved your dreams only to sabotage them and doom yourself to hell for eternity. I love my son dearly. He's the only reason I'm still alive. My marriage is on the rocks. Life goes on but I'm finding it harder to go son's smile is the only keeping me going but then he has an utter meltdown with aggressive behavior and arms are scratched up from him and sometimes I feel like I have PTSD after his was my escape and it's gone....
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 14, 2016
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Welcome to the forum. Keep looking for a job. You will find one eventually.
  3. Lazarus70

    Lazarus70 Active Member

    Thank you. I've been trying for six months....nothing.

    WALLY GASKIN Well-Known Member

    Hey Lazarus70,how do you feel right now?Im Wally,49,and I know how you feel about things.I have lost everyone and everything,and I have zero friends in the real world.My mom,dad,and wife died two years ago.I tried to start over.Got a girlfriend,who dumped me a day before the wedding,lost my job,due to depression,and got my truck repoed.The older I get the harder it is to find a woman or a job.You sound like a man with a lot of talent,and well educated.You also sound like a very loving father.Your son is lucky to have you.Most of us on the forum are in the same boat.The two common traits for most of us is depression and being alone.Are you telling me that you cant find a teaching job in your area?Is relocating to another city or state an option?If anything your son is enough reason to live,and he needs you.Im sorry about your marriage.Please stop torturing yourself over the past,we all screw up.I have done my fair share of it.Im just trying to help,or add my two cents.Any time you want to talk,feel free.Take care my friend.
  5. moxman

    moxman I am proud to call Rosie, my best friend =) Forum Pro

    Hello my friend. I do not know if I told you about, those are federal jobs and the pay is pretty good.

    Have you looked into State government jobs? Those websites are usually hard to find, and a lot of people don't know about them. Maybe contact the office of unemployment, and they could provide you with more information.

    Are you looking at jobs working for the city/county?

    I am just trying to think of obscure websites, maybe you haven't thought of.

    I know you are in a bad place right now , and you are hurting. That is perfectly understandable, you have been through a lot. You have a long road ahead of you, but you are not alone, you have me. =)
  6. Lazarus70

    Lazarus70 Active Member

    Thank you. Moving to another city or state is something I would like to do but cannot. My son attends a very good school for autistic children and I don't want to disrupt his life any further. Also, I want to be near him in the chance that my wife and I separate. We agreed that she should stay with her during the week while he attends school.

    I could find a teaching job if I tried hard enough but I can't because of some stupid mistakes I made a couple years ago. I do have friends but they're all busy living their lives and I feel like a burden.
  7. Lazarus70

    Lazarus70 Active Member

    I have looked at those sites. I'm not qualified for any of them and/or they're located someplace far away.
  8. Lazarus70

    Lazarus70 Active Member

    Job hunting is debilitating for drains me of confidence. I feel useless.
  9. moxman

    moxman I am proud to call Rosie, my best friend =) Forum Pro

    I know job hunting sucks. Just try to develop the best coping skills you can , to help you deal with it. Maybe contact a local college and see if they offer any type of job training for free or little money? I know you are going through a rough time. My heart goes out to you, I know it sucks. But you just have to do, the best you can do.
  10. Special-Agent-Gibbs

    Special-Agent-Gibbs SF Supporter


    Welcome to SF. I am sorry that you are struggling. Looking for a job can be a hard and slow process but you will find a job eventually. Please try to stay positive!
  11. DadzTruk

    DadzTruk Member


    I'm 45 and lost my business when the economy collapsed. I lost my life savings, my dignity, my self-respect and felt like I had failed in every way humanly possible. I was on a different side of the coin from you. I have no college degree. I worked my way up the ladder until I started my own company and was making very good money. All of a sudden, it's all gone and no one wants a middle-aged person without a college degree. Forget the 20 plus years of proven, documented success and experience. I literally sent out hundreds of resumes and the few that would talk to me, said I was overqualified and they knew I wouldn't stay. It took me a year to finally find someone who would give me a chance. I've been there 6 years, unable to move up because they require a degree, but at least I make decent money and we aren't struggling. My wife and kids were the only thing that kept me from doing something that couldn't be taken back. I'm truly sorry you are dealing with all of this, but life will get better. I've been there. Just don't give up. Praying that your marriage is strengthened and that you find the right job very soon. Don't give up.
  12. Lazarus70

    Lazarus70 Active Member

    Thank you. Hearing your story, and those of others on this forum, have helped me tremendously. They provide me with a glimmer of hope that I can survive this emotional turbulence.
    DadzTruk likes this.
  13. alphonso

    alphonso Member

    I know how it feels when you are looking for a job and no one wants you. It nearly 4 years to find one so it is definitely possible to find a decent job but I hope it won't take as long as it did me. Persistence will pay off just keep trying and a door will open for you. Stay strong
    Lazarus70 likes this.
  14. Lazarus70

    Lazarus70 Active Member

    Thank you, alphonso.....I am trying. Four years?! That's so long. How did you cope during that time? I can't wait that long. I have a son with special needs. I apply to 5-10 jobs a day. I'm trying.
  15. alphonso

    alphonso Member

    To tell you the truth i had absolutely nothing but a glimmer of hope to keep me going during those four years. I was so depressed and embarrassed I couldn't look anyone in the eye. Eventually I had to grab whatever pride and dignity I had left and just pound the pavement not take no for an answer even if the the person who was hiring was sick of me calling to see if something was open I keep going. Sometimes forcing the issue does help it at least shows people you are not willing to give up. You have an advantage my friend and that is your son. Knowing that you have a son that needs you more than ever will give you the drive that I can't, I won't and never will be in your vocabulary. Use the fact that whatever you do and whenever you feel like you wanna give up you have a son that is going through something most people don't understand and you are willing to take the task on giving him and yourself a better life by any means. It may seem cliche but sometimes you gotta go through hell to get to heaven. Believe your heaven is around the corner my friend don't stop and never stop finding that job whatever it is. Stay strong my friend
    Lazarus70 likes this.