desparte times call for desparte mesures *could trigger*

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by TJ, May 22, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. TJ

    TJ Staff Alumni

    so ... i knew this was comming and i did nothing to stop it because i couldnt no matter how hard i tired , and i was sorta wondering what ppl would do in this sort of situation

    Since the earthquake , renting prices have increased and for what i need im looking at paying $200 a week rent , ($800) a month , not to meantion power phone net food travel money and doctor visits and meds etc ... just to name a few of my bills , ive already had to go thru with going bankrupt becuase i couldnt pay my loans.

    so the time has come where my habbit has become everyday life for me , i stress and crave and my body aches and i literally go crazy if i cant get something to help me relax.. im jumpy enough with the earthquakes let alone going thru withdrawls and to be honest i dont want to give it up now , ive accepted that this is part of my life , it has been for a long time and i just need to learn to deal with it , this is where my problem comes in tho

    funding - plain and simple i either break the law or i sell myself for sex or whatever breaking the law seems like the best way to go and if i was to get caught i really have nothing to lose , id go to jail do a lagg and be out within a few years .... worst case serino but knowning the law over here because its my first or second offensene it would be PD so what ... like i said i really have nothing to lose now ...

    but there is a part of me that doesnt want this for my life , im 25 junkie little education but if im gonna live in this hell i wanna fucken make the most of it , so what do i do ? small crime ? prostiution ? because of my mental illness i cant work unless some miracle happened and i could work from home .. but i cant start a buniess because of my bankrupcy , i can do some buskking but that only bring in a few dollars each day and im really not that good ,

    i live for drugs and drugs live for me so i guess this is my hell and this is what i have to do to get thru ...
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOu hell you said it hun go in to hospital to a treatment center and get helpto stop the hell your in. Get on medication that will help you that will stop the cravings okay t here are medication that will do that call your doctor and get treatment you need to stop it now You are so kind and caring to others please be kind to you okay hugs
  3. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    You know you dont want to turn to crime, you know you shouldnt can you exhaust every other avenue first? I dont think your not trying to find other ways, im just reaffirming that you should push for non illegal avenues.
    Any cheaper living available?
    How did you get out of this the last time? What did you do?
  4. Lady E

    Lady E Well-Known Member

    You need to get help, these drugs just have you caught in it's vicious cycle of hell. There are plenty of treatment options out there for someone in your situation. What do you have to lose by seeking help? If you are willing to resort to selling your own body or petty theft just for a hit that isn't going to last a day, why not?
    You may live for that drug but it certainly does not live for you. It will betray you the moment you can't keep it happy. It rips apart your insides and your mentality if it doesn't get it's way.
    I have been there and I have scraped the bottom of that barrel. It truly does get better if you give up that control.
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Just to say I care...J
  6. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I agree with other on this forum. Get the help you need now, before it gets worse. Remember I was on vicodin... I was forced to leave my job, because my supplier was there. I have to go through hella withdrawal symptoms. I lived for vicodin too.

    You don't have to resort to the stuff that you mentioned. I know withdrawal. I know how bad it becomes.

    PM me, Esther. I have a willing ear, as you know from chat. :hug: I've been there Esther. :hug:
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.