Hi, I was on here 4 years ago (anyone still around?), and I'm afraid things have got back to desperation, fear and thoughts of killing myself again. Four years ago I was in london briefly and found that my severe phobias and ocd had improved and i couldn't face going back where I come from. I managed to find a way of staying in London for a while, then had to move to Devon ( staying as a lodger with the mother of a friend). I then moved to near Chichester when she moved (as her lodger). Yesterday she said she wanted me to move out.(No nastiness. in Devon there was an annexe I stayed in, here there isn't, she doesn't want someone sharing in her house). Don't know how to write this but straight away I'm back to uncontrolled fear, panic and anxiety. I can only see isolation in my future. Killing myself is the only way I can get any peace .I don't know what else to write just now. It's just too awful that I'm lost and despairing and anxious again. Sorry I can't evoke how I'm feeling very well.