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Desperate and hopeless

DouglasW

SF Supporter
#1
I'm so scared. I'm hurting so much, and suicidal constantly.

As I've shared elsewhere on the forums and with community here, I went through these terrible traumatic losses a few years back, losing my parents to dementia and death, getting divorced, and losing my career due to being in the middle of the Boston Marathon bombings (long story what all happened).

In the years since, I relocated geographically and attempted to rebuild a life with no family or friends -- all my friends of many years evaporated as I was going through the above traumas. I've made friends, most often through support groups, then lost them. I recently had a relationship with a woman and her son that was giving me so much hope, then she dumped me unexpectedly and suddenly. I feel I'm too much as I'm underresourced and carrying so much grief and trauma.

But as a result I'm stuck in total isolation, no close friends and for that matter no less close friends -- nothing to do, nowhere to go. The lockdown has made this all that much worse as I can't even go to public places or meetups to try to meet anyone.

I'm hurting so much, wishing for people to talk with, esp anyone who can relate to the isolation of CPTSD. I'm struggling so much.
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#3
I'm so scared. I'm hurting so much, and suicidal constantly.

As I've shared elsewhere on the forums and with community here, I went through these terrible traumatic losses a few years back, losing my parents to dementia and death, getting divorced, and losing my career due to being in the middle of the Boston Marathon bombings (long story what all happened).

In the years since, I relocated geographically and attempted to rebuild a life with no family or friends -- all my friends of many years evaporated as I was going through the above traumas. I've made friends, most often through support groups, then lost them. I recently had a relationship with a woman and her son that was giving me so much hope, then she dumped me unexpectedly and suddenly. I feel I'm too much as I'm underresourced and carrying so much grief and trauma.

But as a result I'm stuck in total isolation, no close friends and for that matter no less close friends -- nothing to do, nowhere to go. The lockdown has made this all that much worse as I can't even go to public places or meetups to try to meet anyone.

I'm hurting so much, wishing for people to talk with, esp anyone who can relate to the isolation of CPTSD. I'm struggling so much.
this is obviously a new chapter in your life, please don't give up. there is a lot of loneliness with this covid but it won't last forever. try making friends online , you can meet in certain areas depending on the covid situation in your area. and until you make those irl contacts use us a source of online friends. i hope things get better for you...mike....*hug*shake
 

DouglasW

SF Supporter
#4
CPTSD is complex ptsd, brought on by extended periods of trauma as opposed to a single traumatic event.

@1964dodge thank you I'm so trying. I really would like people to talk with, about anything. Indeed the pandemic is making everything so much harder. So isolating and everyone experiencing hardships.
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#5
CPTSD is complex ptsd, brought on by extended periods of trauma as opposed to a single traumatic event.

@1964dodge thank you I'm so trying. I really would like people to talk with, about anything. Indeed the pandemic is making everything so much harder. So isolating and everyone experiencing hardships.
my inbox is always open to you if you want to talk or just plain vent...mike...*hug*shake
 

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