I am dead inside and tonight I may be dying on the outside too. I have fallen so deeply into this hole that when I look up I can no longer see any light. I joined this forum a year ago and only posted a few times. I suppose I'm posting here again now because.. I have no one to talk to and nowhere to go. This sadness and loneliness I feel is cold an stabbing. I cannot see forcing myself to waste the resources of those around me just so that I can continue to barely exist.. in misery. I cut myself earlier. Sometime this makes me feel better, tonight it did not. I don't know what to do.. I am so so very sad and cold and empty feeling. I just want peace. I want to feel what happiness is like. It has been so long that I've forgotten. I have lost hope for that though.. I just want this to end. I justed wanted to put some words somewhere... to sort out my thoughts I suppose.. to express myself or whatever. I feel so helpless. I want to die. I really, really do. What can I possibly have left to hope for? There is no one around me that I would hurt.... I want to quite.. I'm so so very tired. I'm exhausted and every bit of me aches. I am drained. If anyone's out there..... I'd appreciate a couple words maybe.. anything. Is there anything left that could ease this? That could make me feel better? I don't know if I will survive until the morning.