Desperate

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Cloo, May 11, 2007.

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  1. Cloo

    Cloo Guest

    I fight everyday to get out of bed.
    I fight everyday to get dressed.
    I fight everyday to feed my pets.
    I fight everyday to smile.
    I fight everyday to function.
    I fight everyday to be 'normal'.
    I fight everyday to do jobs around the house.
    I fight everyday to not OD.
    I fight everyday to take my tablets properly.
    I fight everyday not to cut.
    I fight everyday to ignore the intrusive images.
    I fight everyday to try and find a future for myself.
    I fight everyday to be 'better'.
    I fight everyday to cut down on mints (I have a psychological addiction to mints).
    I fight everyday to battle the anxiety I face.
    I fight everyday to not dissociate.
    I fight everyday to eat a sensible amount.
    I fight everyday to ignore the aching loneliness that I feel.
    I fight everyday to survive without my friends that died.

    I fight everyday.

    You have to pick your fights.

    That's a lot to fight all day everyday. Something is going to give.

    I know already what it is because it's the one causing me the biggest problem.

    OH, and by the way I did post this on another forum, but I am so fucking desperate and agitated I can't bear it. I'm losing. Im scared. I hate doing this, posting about me, hence the anonymity, but I'm scared. I'm so so sorry
     
  2. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Don't ever be sorry about posting things off. It's okay to talk about yourself, the things that bother you. It's okay to let it all out. :hug: :hug:

    If you wish to talk in private with someone, please feel free to drop me a PM or email me (the address is in my signature).

    I'd be happy to be there for you, to listen to you, maybe give you advice even. Anything I can do really, I'd love to do for you. :hug:


    :arms:
     
  3. Robin

    Robin Guest

    It's hard to manage each day when every day is a battle for survival, I can understand completely the urge to throw in the towel sometimes, just for a few minutes relief, but you are doing wonders, is there anything that would help you feel a bit better though?

    I know I sound like a broken record but having someone to talk about your feelings can really help, even they are a professional paid to listen as sometimes we suffer for so long we forget what it is to not suffer and start to doubt ourselves and mistakenly blame our failings on weakness.
     
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am glad that even though it is a struggle you have chosen to continue to fight for your life. I know it is not easy by any means. I hope you will continue to post here and find at least a little comfort in the support you can find here. If you need someone to listen, feel free to PM me. I will get back with you as soon as i can. :hug: Please take care.
     
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