Why can't I? Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why does it matter that my parents will find my body? Why should I care? I can't cope anymore. This is killing me. I begged him. BEGGED him to see me. After 9 years. He tells me that he'll never be with me again because I'm crazy, talking about cutting and death, and I disgust him. Writes on facebook that today is a good day for killing yourself. Why is it like this? All I ever had in life was him. And he's kicked me out of his house, his country, to a place I'm completely alone. I sobbed in my mother's arms today for the first time, just walked up to her and said I wasn't feeling well. And... and it changes no thing. It hurts so fucking much. Fuck. Please make it stop.