Desperate

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Kaine, Mar 25, 2011.

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  1. Kaine

    Kaine Member

    Why can't I?

    Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why.

    Why does it matter that my parents will find my body?

    Why should I care?

    I can't cope anymore.

    This is killing me.

    I begged him. BEGGED him to see me. After 9 years. He tells me that he'll never be with me again because I'm crazy, talking about cutting and death, and I disgust him.

    Writes on facebook that today is a good day for killing yourself.

    Why is it like this?

    All I ever had in life was him.

    And he's kicked me out of his house, his country, to a place I'm completely alone.

    I sobbed in my mother's arms today for the first time, just walked up to her and said I wasn't feeling well.

    And...

    and it changes no thing.

    It hurts so fucking much.

    Fuck. Please make it stop.
     
  2. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    That's horrible. I can understand why you feel the way you do.

    Say more. Whether or not you're thinking of killing yourself, what is it that's hurting you the worst?
     
  3. ParodoxialShadow

    ParodoxialShadow Active Member

    I agree with Rocket. i send you my :hug:
     
  4. Kaine

    Kaine Member

    Thanks guys.

    He has me thinking I'm totally dellusional. He gets right into my head.

    And yet, he was the only thing that made life worth living, we had fun, it was peaceful, I actually wanted things from life when I was with him.

    And he says he doesn't love me anymore.

    I've been begging and begging him.

    But that really hurt. To call me crazy. After he knows about all the abuse I've been through.

    Once someone accuses you of being crazy you can never get back from it.
     
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