Desperate

hi.

i feel like i have lost my grip and i am desperately fighting this need that i have to kill myself. i have my plans worked out over and over and the only thing that is or was stopping me was this stupid lil voice in my head telling me that dying is too good for me and that i should stay and live continue to suffer. now that voice is fading and all i can think of is to die tonight instead of delaying it anylonger.
i have no friends, my family despise me and im completely alone.

I don't know what to do. i don't know what to say.

Alyssa.

 

Hey sorry youre feeling so low, I know its hard to fight against. Are you getting help (therapy, meds, what-have-you)?

You can fight these feelings off, you just gotta try. Talk here and we can help.

 

i take lexapro and i used alternative medicines but nothing helps. medicines just make me apathetic and thats worse.

i tried calling a hotline before and i was on hold for 20 minutes so i hung up

 

20 mins on hold to a hotline!!!! thats outrageous.

have you tried calling local crisis line...samaritans...or even take youself off to your nearest emergency department and tell them you feel suicidal. if you dont feel able to do that, stick around here.

feeling so you, you will believe everyone hates you, why do you think your family hate you?

seek help, if not here, then try the sources above. take care :hug:

 

Try talking here, or try a different hotline. If those dont work then go to the hospital

 

im afraid i will be hospitilized again and i cant go through that. i dont belong in a hospital. my family hate me because i cost my father his job and now they are struggling. ive been kicked out of the family home and im living in my abusive ex boyfriends flat. i have nothing no hope or anything now

 

I know what you mean about hospitals, I was in one that made things so much worse, It was so scary. But maybe you could try a different hospital. The second one I was put into helped me alot. There is hope, I'll be hopeful for you, please don't stay in an abusive situation, there are people who will help you find a safe place to stay.

 

Hi. I know that accomodation in London is difficult but living with an abusive ex is not going to help you. Do you have any information about domestic violence services in your area?
Take care xxx

 

i don't live with him. he lets me stay here because ive no money to rent and he comes around a couple of nights a week.i cant ever say no to him.

i can take this anymore. im so alone.