Desperately poor

Discussion in 'Work and Financial Problems' started by rena, Oct 24, 2017.

  1. rena

    rena Alternative nerd fighting to live another day

    So months ago, my husband lost his job because of medical issues that were affecting his work performance. He's been looking for a job since, but to no avail. He's currently waiting to hear back from several places.

    But as time has gone on, we are getting more ad more behind. We both have medical bills that we can't pay right now. We have gotten behind on not so important bills, like the internet. I had to make the sad choice of whether to pay for my meds or bills this month. Because my insurance upped the copays for prescriptions, so that's hurt me. But due to them changing policy and FORCING me to so mail order, I've also been out of both my antidepressant and mood stabilizer for over a month now. We don't have the money for them, but I chose to pay for these instead of paying for our gas and electric bills this month. I'm currently waiting for them to come in the mail.

    But I'm so scares and worried about bills. I am trying to keep caught up on everything, but it's not working. If he doesn't get a job soon, I honestly don't know how we are going to be a me to scrap by much longer. Granted, now I won't have to pay for meds for another 3 months, since I have to do mail order now. But we're barely managing to pay our bills. Now, the gas, trash, and electric are going to be behind.

    I get paid next week, but I have to pay rent, car insurance, and my phone. And I need to keep my phone on because it's the only phone we have. His is off because we can't afford to pay for two phones atm. And if we don't have any phone at all, he can't get a hold of possible employers and we can't get a hold of anyone else for anything else. And then after paying those three, were gonna be broke. I'm how well pay for food, unless we borrow some money from someone. But then the next paycheck, I have to get caught up on the gas, trash, electric, and water. And so Idk if I'll be able to pay anyone back for any borrowed money.

    Sorry that I'm rambling. I'm just totally freaking the fuck out now. It doesn't help that I've been out of my meds for weeks, either. I can't wait to have them n because they help keep me a lot calmer. But idk how we can manage this anymore. I'm so stressed out all the time anymore. I can barely focus on doing my job. My stomach is always in knots. I am constantly snapping at people. All I want to ever do anymore is sleep. I really can't focus on work because my mental health is in shambles, but I can't afford to take any time off for my mental health because then we won't be able to pay any bills and will get kicked out of our apartment.

    I just hate this. I hate that I'm having to choose between paying utility bills and paying for my meds. But if I don't get my meds soon, I might not be able to work at all because I'm afraid that I might try to off myself. I was suicidal before getting on my meds. Now, I'm starting to feel rhat desperation again.

    I just hate this. And I kind of hate my husband for putting me through this, even though it's not entirely his fault. But I really wish he had a job already. We can't afford him not having one. I really hope that he gets something asap. Because if he doesnt, I fear for my mental and physical wellbeing. I can't keep doing this. I hate worrying about money 24-7.
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear that you are going through this
    I don't think you're rambling. You're understandably distressed about your financial situation. If talking about that here helps, please do. That's what SF is for.

    You may want to try calling 211 or visting They can help with healthcare, housing, food, employment and other services.

    You may qualify for medicaid, or other free medical services. There are food banks and community pantries that could help you with food.

    Every state in the US has a program of vocational assistance for people with disabilities. They might be able to help your husband find a job, or give him some free job training. I think you would probably qualify for it too, and it might help you find a different job that could give you more income.

    I hope that something can help
  3. BarryW

    BarryW Well-Known Member

    Living paycheck to paycheck is not fun and I've been there. I don't know your skills sets but aside from looking for a new full time job, have you two looked for small part-time work for either of you? There are small contract gigs (freelance) online for some industries. Then depending on where you live there is stuff like uber/lyft a lot of people do for extra cash. What about substitute teaching?
    PaladinofKnights likes this.
  4. rena

    rena Alternative nerd fighting to live another day

    Thanks, guys.

    I can't get Medicaid because I "make too much". Idk if I'd qualify for anything else because of that. One of my friends had signed up for food stamps before, and she only got like 75 dollars a month for food, even though she was making less than I am now. So my state is not generous when it comes to help. Though I could still go to a food bank.

    Idk if my husband could get disability or any other help for his medical issues. It's mainly psychological, depression and anxiety. I feel like with my state, they would make it as difficult as possible since it's only mental illness and not physical. Since most view mental illnesses as aren't deserving of help as physical ones...

    I can't do substitute teaching. You have to have schooling for that, which I don't. I don't have any training. My husband did ask about possibly doing uber or something similar. But before we got screwed financially, we got a newer car. I really didn't want him ruining it by using it as a taxi. I even refused to let him deliver pizzas in it. That kinda stuff is really hard on cars, and I don't want to run it into the ground...but Idk. We might not have a choice soon enough. The only skills I have are related to quality control. My husband doesn't really have any skills, except for pizza and fast food skills...
    may71 likes this.
  5. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    There might be some other services out there, hopefully 211 would know. It seems really unfair to me that people who need healthcare get punished for working.

    Food stamps might not give you much, but it still might help a little.

    It's true that people often don't see mental health issues as real disabilities, or if they do see it as a disability, then they see it as a stigmatized one.

    Hopefully whoever is administering disability services in your state will have a more enlightened perspective.

    Different states have different standards for qualifying for vocational services. In some cases, you just have to demonstrate that you have a disability that is a barrier to work.
  6. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    You're welcome! :)
  7. agateaqua

    agateaqua Well-Known Member

    I haven't tried this yet , but I know a site that pays for so called user testing.
    Not sure if I'm allowed to post links? I've been procastinating , or I would have tried the site etc. :)
  8. Alwayswrong

    Alwayswrong Well-Known Member

    Hi! I'm new to forums so I hope I won't make any mistake...
    I can REALLY understand what you're going through... for my situation is very similar to yours.
    I'm so desperate that I even thought of trying to get help through "gofundme". Unfortunately, I live in a country where gofundme is not. But perhaps it can help you cope with these harsh moments.
    rena likes this.
  9. gypsylee

    gypsylee SF Supporter

    *counts blessings financially*

    Hi @Alwayswrong and welcome. You’re doing just fine :)
  10. Alwayswrong

    Alwayswrong Well-Known Member

    Thank you, my dear!
    gypsylee likes this.
  11. Aprilflowers7

    Aprilflowers7 Well-Known Member

    All I have is disability. I am only one person so I don't mind living in a small place and things like that, but I haven't even been on a vacation since I was 7. My family had moved to North Carolina about seven years ago, and that was the only vacation I got. I am on the bridge card and I get $150 but sometimes I am so depressed I just walk to the store so I can feel normal for five seconds and then I buy a Diet Coke or something and then I have less at the end of the month although what I do is I just buy something cheaper if I'm running out of money. If I got a part time job they would get rid of some of my bridge card money and I don't want them to do that. I also have Medicaid and I may need more surgeries in the future so I have to keep that, and I have to take this antibiotic whenever I go to the dentist because of my heart and I need Medicaid for that, too. I would try applying for disability anyway, and if you get rejected, you can get a lawyer like when I got my lawyer all we paid him was $1,000 out of the money that I received. Usually SSI rejects you the first time. So we got a lawyer after I was rejected the first time.
  12. Alwayswrong

    Alwayswrong Well-Known Member

    Hi, @Aprilflowers7! Thank you very much!
    In fact, I had a temporary dissability retirement. But our new government is eliminating them. So, when I turned 60, the age for permanent retirement for women in Argentina, I applied for the permanent retirement. It took almost a year but somebody pressed the wrong keyboard and I dissapeared from the system altogether.:mad: it's been 5 months now without money or medical care. I have loans to pay (I had to ask for them to pay the expenses and medical care).
    You've been so kind! Thank you! (This helps me see I was on the right track).
  13. Alwayswrong

    Alwayswrong Well-Known Member

    Oh! I'm sorry, folks... @Aprilflowers7 's post wasn't addressed to me...
  14. Aprilflowers7

    Aprilflowers7 Well-Known Member

    Oh I was replying to Rena, but you can answer if you want to! No worries!

    I was having a problem recently with disability because of an address error, but we're getting it fixed. I got a letter that said they were going to stop my payments until we corrected the information, but my mom called them and everything was fixed. So I'm getting my money still!
    Alwayswrong likes this.
  15. Lady Wolfshead

    Lady Wolfshead Well-Known Member

    Rena, I empathize with what you're going through so much. My husband has a physical disability and hasn't had steady employment for most of our 23 years together. He's been off either as a student or on minimal disability for 9 years or so, and the rest of the time had on-and-off work so I have been the primary wage earner. It's so hard and most people just don't "get it" unless they've had similar struggles. We lost our car (have lived most of that 23 years without a vehicle), got hugely in debt, have had cheques bounce and so on. I'm just hoping we don't lose our apartment that we own (well, the bank owns it).

    Sending you hugs and best wishes. PM me anytime.
    Alwayswrong likes this.
  16. Aprilflowers7

    Aprilflowers7 Well-Known Member

    I can usually afford to pay for my rent because of my SSI and I'm going to be moving in with my mother in a few months, but I still have to pay her rent. But the biggest problem is not being able to afford things that I would really want, like vacations or cars. I haven't really been on a vacation since I was 7. But then my surgeries might be more than I could afford even with a job so I have to keep Medicaid. My first surgery cost $50,000 on Medicaid. But then it doesn't pay for a lot of dental stuff and I already lost a tooth. Since I have a heart condition, I have to take a pill whenever I go to the dentist. If I do not take it, the plague or whatever it was could get into my heart and kill me. So how am I supposed to pay for things like that if I'm not on SSI? Antibiotics usually cost around $300. I wouldn't know what other insurances would charge me for surgeries and stuff. I figure I have to stay poor my whole life just to be able to get my medical stuff taken care of.
  17. walkerbait95

    walkerbait95 SF Social Media Forum Pro SF Supporter

    That's weird. Are you in the US, @Aprilflowers7 I take those antibiotics at the dentist for the same thing and they cost me like $10. Been taking them for decades now. I think someone is trying to screw you over on that or something.
  18. Aprilflowers7

    Aprilflowers7 Well-Known Member

    Well I read online that it's about $300 but I don't know what kind they are. And since I have Medicaid they don't really tell me how much they cost. But I may have something different than you, I'm not really sure. There are many terms for it I think. But I can't always remember what my mother told me about it. I usually just get a bottle and wait until that runs out and then I get another one. What kinda condition do you have? Mine might be different from yours.