Destroy your life, keep a diary

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Oak, Aug 30, 2008.

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  1. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    If you are unsure or cant trust who you live with, or carry it with you and risk to be seen and render curious anyone of its content, do not keep a diary unless it is kept in a box with a heavy metal lock that cant be broken with a hammer or be cut. Mine was read, its content reported to third parties who in turn repeated it to others who ended up doing the whole tour of the town, family, family in law etc. non wehre to hide or have peace. fingers pointing is all ive got, judgements and ill mentality. im sure they will even dance on my grave once i die but surprise i wont be laying there but far from them all.
    Where no one will visit and only peace will be my compagnonship along a friend that has left before me and is awaiting me there.

    want to kill yourself? you still have a chance to make it, let others put their hands on your diary(ies) and you are dead with non chance of survival.

    no where left to hide, i'll soon die.
  2. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member


    Sorry to hear your diary was read. That happened to me years ago when I was still at school, as a result everyone found out that I had an ED. I never kept a diary after that, I couldn't go through the pain & humiliation of everyone knowing my innermost thoughts & feelings.

    Are you receiving any help/support for your problems?

    Take care & keep safe xx
  3. Me being a writer myself, I think that is the worst crime anyone could commit is to read someone elses private diary/journal. I would be mortified if that happened to me. I would lose my mind
  4. Anju

    Anju Well-Known Member

    I learned this lesson as a child when my mother read my diary and had a complete fit, I think it'd be alot worse if she read one full of my current thoughts. I would hate for anyone to see something so's a horrible concept.

    Belcor and Claire_83, it must really have been horrible to have it happen to you :hug: :hug:
  5. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I once kept a diary as a young girl but like you belcor it was discovered and used against me. Now as an adult, I write poetry and put it out for all to read. Yes it is my thoughts and deepest feelings but unlike my diary people dont feel the need to "invade" me or use it against me. They can read it or dont, no matter. But it still lets me get out the thoughts of the day and because I choose to let the skeltons out I actually feel a little better about things. I'm sorry you were so personally violated and I wish the diary theives of the world could understand that is exactly what they are doing, violating those they are supposed to love and care for. If they need to know what is going on with an individual they only need to ask. If we chose to let them in or not is our business and out of respect they should abide our wishes. If they are truly concerned they should learn to be able to talk to us instead of violating us.
  6. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    that's why I don't keep one anymore. my family has a privacy problem and can't keep their hands on their own things. or know what the meaning of privacy actually is :dry:.
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I never kept a diary because I don't want people knowing my deepest personal thoughts.
  8. Broken Wings

    Broken Wings Well-Known Member

    I've never kept a diary for long, mainly because I can't keep writing about my days when it rarely feels like anything special happens.

    Now, when I think a diary would help me, I'm too scared to start one.
  9. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    writing down one's inner most thoughts can be relieving in that you can let it out of your system but privacy can be a big issue.
  10. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    I got a diary, it was my workers idea, and not a bad one, because I find it really hard to talk about my problems. I have used it ever since.

    If anyone found my diary, I think I would just die..My sister nearly read it the other day. It has my deepest feelings, which very few people know about. That's why I tend to write on here, instead of on paper now. And I agree, writing sometimes does help a lot.
  11. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member

    I live scared everyday someone's gonna find mine and read it... I just keep it under my bed, there's no place else that could offer 'privacy'.
  12. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    i did lose my mind and trust in all that is related to being writing. i've gone through boxes and boxes and made fires and fires to destroy all i had kept over the years, even poetry, litterature, journals, diary, medical records all
    in all. fucked once not twice in this life time
  13. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    once a snake you cant change its skin or colour nor venoun
  14. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    try the pocket of a jacket or winter coat taht it would fit in and not be around to be found. or make a pocket and hand it on a hanger under a heavey jacket or the like, people will look in easy pllaces not hard places

    or i used to put two nails up in the closet wall, above the door high enough not to be seen and hand my diary there
  15. ........

    ........ Guest

    I know the feeling about losing your mind :hug:

    If someone read my private diaries/things from ages ago...(at this moment I don't feel like I cling on to these things) but if they violated me I'd be absolutely shattered but then I imagine I'd probably wind them up about their actions/their behaviour-ask them so what do you think about what I said here? ":smile:" Did that make you feel excited? ":smile:".

    The people who do that have got a lot of problems themselves. You could either look at everyone pointing at you or turn it around and point themselves back at them.

    Destroying all the things I had written- I have done that once with something I kept around when I was 11 but after that- I dont like the idea of me dying and people reading my stuff though.
  16. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    oh i write by not much by hand as i cant hold a pen long enough so i rely on the pc then print it and destroy it from the pc. i show it to my psichiatrist so he knows where i stand then burn it right away and he is not allowed to make copy of my writings. specially when i started to write backward or upside down and backward, brain was weird to say the least at some point...s till is but less than at some point yet far from being out of trouble so no proof left behind or hanging my purse or in my pockets and or pyjama so none can reach it-them for what i can still write now i can barely write a post without taking an hour thinking about which word come first and spelling...amen brain damage does funny freaky things
  17. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    I would love to write diary. I cant write my deepest thoughts nowhere.

    Not here, not in songs,...

    But i couldnt be totally honest even in diary. I would be too afraid that someone is gonna find it.

    I feel safe when people dont know my deepest thoughts, if my school mates would find diary with my thoughts, it would lead me in severe depression and anxiety.

    So i wont risk it:)

    Im sorry for what happen to you:(
  18. pippo

    pippo Member

    why not write it in code?
  19. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    I write mine in Latin so if my parents or sisters found it they couldn't understand it.
  20. Anam_Cara

    Anam_Cara Well-Known Member

    Why can others not keep their hands off someones personal property? I too have suffered for writing things down.. in more than one way... my grandparents who ive already said on another thread are "control freaks" and have on many occasions gone through my things and read my personal writings.. poetry and letters to and from other people... in doing so they found out many things i did not wish them to :mad: after that i learned to code my journals and writings, in other languages or symbols.. eventually i grew so paranoid of even writing things down on paper that way that i graduated to online blogs and journals.. problem solved.. family hasnt a clue what i do on the internet nor do they have access to finding that out either..

    it's pathetic when one has to resort to those measures simply because a "nosy" relative can't mind their own business and not snoop in your property.. whatever happened to personal freedoms? is NOTHING sacred anymore?
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