Detached? Disconnected?

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Nick

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#22
I think my feelings through a filter and give a very measured picture of myself.
That is an excellent description. Although, I'm not entirely sure I "feel" as others do. I have basis to describe my feelings. What am I feeling right now? I do not know, not for sure. It is something, but I cannot define it. Thank you for your response, I appreciate your insight and understanding.
 

Nick

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#23
Good people care about what society thinks, Nick. Bad people just do whatever they want with no regard or care for what happens in the world.
I care to damned much about what people think. It tears me apart. Makes me question my humanity. Makes me wonder if I'm good enough. If I will ever be good enough. I wish I didn't care. Right now I wish others didn't care. If nobody cares than the decision would be easy. Maybe.

maybe you just need to see a connection to those people for it to strike you.
Those I care about, I care about a lot. Connection is rare and hard. I relate on some level to some people, but others I have nothing to say.

you are not your god damned mother.
Am I not though. Hiding behind words. Disconnected from people and reality. I might not use the same tactics she does, but still her all the same.
 

Aurelia

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#24
Everyone cares about what people think to some degree. What I meant, though, was that I don't care what people think of me as a person, my beliefs, my passions, my sexuality, etc. If they don't like it, they can go fuck themselves.
 

dandelion s

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#25
Not for people I don't know anything about, ET. Hearing something on the news about random people dying doesn't affect me. I'm mostly just like, "Okay, sucks for them. Anything better on?"
I think, "sucks for them" is empathy. What I feel so many don't have (myself included) is the wherewithal to apply that empathy. Then lacking the resources, the individual comes to believe they are cold when really they are not. Then they come to engage in any of a myriad of behaviors that display deep feeling that can't be actualized in proactive ways and at times even raging like a demon because of an impassable "wall" that has been encountered.
 

Aurelia

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#27
I think, "sucks for them" is empathy. What I feel so many don't have (myself included) is the wherewithal to apply that empathy. Then lacking the resources, the individual comes to believe they are cold when really they are not. Then they come to engage in any of a myriad of behaviors that display deep feeling that can't be actualized in proactive ways and at times even raging like a demon because of an impassable "wall" that has been encountered.
Okay, I guess maybe it could be considered empathy on a very small scale lol. But I'm definitely a lot less empathetic than most people are to strangers. To give you another example, my husband tends to be a bit aggressive and has anger issues. He comes home the one day and tells me he broke someone's arm. Now, mind you, for the most part, this person didn't deserve it. It was definitely an extreme reaction on his part. Still, I found it rather hilarious when he told the story and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. Now that I'm pretty sure is not normal on the whole empathy spectrum, lol.
 

absured angel

Well-Known Member
#28
Perhaps we disconnect in an effort to save ourselves/our mind from thinking or feeling too much as maybe we are just too sensitive to bad things and care too deeply. It impacts our emotions to a level we have a hard time controlling on a subconscious level. For me i got rid of social media cuz i found myself getting too involved in what I was seeing. Kind of a weight of the world on your shoulders situation. Getting rid of social media some of that weight was lifted.
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
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#29
Perhaps we disconnect in an effort to save ourselves/our mind from thinking or feeling too much as maybe we are just too sensitive to bad things and care too deeply. It impacts our emotions to a level we have a hard time controlling on a subconscious level. For me i got rid of social media cuz i found myself getting too involved in what I was seeing. Kind of a weight of the world on your shoulders situation. Getting rid of social media some of that weight was lifted.
I think you're probably dead on with that observation. I definitely think and feel way too much in certain aspects. I devote so much energy and emotion to some things that it feels like there isn't any left to give for other things that matter less.
 

DrownedFishOnFire

Back into the wild where I belong. Out of your way
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#30
@Kalicka

Not sure if you are familiar with the Star Wars and the story of the Jedi and the dark side. Thats what I keep telling myself everyone of us have that darkness within however we can choose to act upon it or not.

View attachment 18561

Cheers. Your still a good person Kal for addressing it.
 

Inanimate

Well-Known Member
#31
Good people care about what society thinks, Nick. Bad people just do whatever they want with no regard or care for what happens in the world. You're saying you've no ability to "feel" in some way.. but maybe you just need to see a connection to those people for it to strike you. Looking at a news story doesn't do it for you but you spend time here at SF doling out advice to people. Why? You must feel something about that or you wouldn't be here, man.
I don't agree with that. If I help people here, it's because I can relate to them. Doesn't mean I have to have empathy necessarily for people I don't know anything about. I need to get to know someone before I care about them, and I think @Kalicka is similar in that regard. And it doesn't make you a bad person to not care what people think either.
Personally, on the off-chance that I advise strangers, I do it predominantly for my egotism, so to that end I care about what people think. However, I don’t necessarily care about them to any compelling effect unless I want them to care about me; in which case, I’ll present myself vulnerably and indulgently. I exhaust my reserves of empathy on those who I feel deserve it, which explains why most people underestimate me.

@Kalicka, from what you’ve divulged about yourself, you’re more human by my standards than most of the people whom I’m aware of here, and that isn’t necessarily a compliment but an effortless observation.
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
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#32
Personally, on the off-chance that I advise strangers, I do it predominantly for my egotism, so to that end I care about what people think. However, I don’t necessarily care about them to any compelling effect unless I want them to care about me; in which case, I’ll present myself vulnerably and indulgently. I exhaust my reserves of empathy on those who I feel deserve it, which explains why most people underestimate me.

@Kalicka, from what you’ve divulged about yourself, you’re more human by my standards than most of the people whom I’m aware of here, and that isn’t necessarily a compliment but an effortless observation.
See, this is why you are awesome. You're never pretentious and you flat out admit why you do what you do, regardless of how it sounds to other people. That's a lot more respectable than people who pretend or delude themselves that they do things for reasons that sound socially acceptable.
 

Inanimate

Well-Known Member
#33
See, this is why you are awesome. You're never pretentious and you flat out admit why you do what you do, regardless of how it sounds to other people. That's a lot more respectable than people who pretend or delude themselves that they do things for reasons that sound socially acceptable.
My reaction in three emojis: :eek::oops::cool:
 

Gonz

₲‹›Ŋʑ
#34
Am I not though. Hiding behind words. Disconnected from people and reality. I might not use the same tactics she does, but still her all the same.
I think that’s a pretty big distinction though. I mean...

“I’m a loner. Sometimes people are creeped out by me. I might not murder anyone, but I’m just like Jeffrey Dahmer all the same.”

Like, nah, that doesn’t sound right, right?

That’s because having some similarities isn’t enough reason to compare yourself to someone else in that way when you don’t share the part of their personality that is so problematic in the first place.
 
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