Diagnosed with uncurable serious disease

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Yitkah, Mar 26, 2014.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Yitkah

    Yitkah New Member

    Hello, I am totally new here, so I don't how it works, I would just like to say that I don't want any "life positive" responses, it really doesn't work with me, it just makes me angry, so i don't even read that. I am ESL, so sorry for mistakes. I am 24 yo female, living in US alone without family, I moved here at 22. few weeks ago I got partly paralyzed on left side of body. got hospitalized and even it looked like i suffered stroke, they figured out i have a rare type of nerve system disease (i don't wish to name it or talk about disease)...it causing you're losing your mobility. My mobility and independence are the most important things for me, without that, life is just suffering...Also it means i have to leave country where i feel home. I am not really family type, and even before that happened i was always pure introvert, avoiding any company and had just few friends....why i post that? I wish to hear stories from people with serious diseases. so thank u, Yit
     
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hello. welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to read that you have this serious illness. And this disease causes peopleto lose mobility. I am so very sorry you will have to leave the country in which you feel so at home. I hope you can find here something to ease your pain. Some people who can share similar stories. I am glad you are here. While I am saddened by the illness about which you wrote.
     
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I arrived here at SF a couple years after the onset of a serious illness caused me to lose my ability to work. For the first couple years I was too angry to feel much of anything else , and then I became suicidal because i could not see a point in anything else. My health has continued to deteriorate, though a little slower than what was expected. I am not really sure what you are asking - I can tell you that there have been good days and days that I laugh and am glad I am still alive , and there have been many days where I have been angry that it is taking so long and why cant I just die and be done with it already. My life is absolutely 100% different now than it was before - not a single thing i used to do is a main part of my life any more, and the way I pass time now I would have never imagined doing 5 years ago. Would it have been better if I had not got sick? Of course it would have - but I am not angry all the time any more. I still find things that I can enjoy when I allow myself to (and very often it is a case of my attitude determining what I do as much as my deteriorating health).

    I do not know anything that made it easier or made me understand - the depression meds did help me. Pain is an issue for me, but I have found a good pain management clinic that has made it so that is tolerable most days. My life is totally different, but there are still enough pieces of it that it makes it worthwhile for me. I am not really actively suicidal anymore because it is a simple matter of going to happen anyway so no need to be in a hurry for it. Once the anger and fear diminish it is easier to make the best of things- just getting over the anger at being forced to make the best of things took a while for me - and even now there are days that I am pissed about always "settling" for what I can do. Feel free to private message me if you want to talk.
     
  4. Yitkah

    Yitkah New Member

    Thank u very much for nice welcomin words! :)
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.