did great for 4-6 months

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by worthless1, Nov 12, 2012.

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  1. worthless1

    worthless1 Member

    Now I am driving without a seat belt, I am hating myself, I haven't hit myself yet but I am close. I am hateing myself right now. I get sero family support, I just wanna frikkin scream right now. I am a punk A#$# door mat. i want help. I just need someone to talk to. Maybe I am not as wierd as I think, or maybe I am.
    So many questions so much hurt and anger inside. Sometimes I just wanna end it all, but my family needs my income. My daughter needs a dad. (I am not much of one) I suck as a husband too. I am done.lord please help me. Amen
     
  2. yep

    yep Well-Known Member

    You feel very low now but reach out for help. I offer my hand to you, to listen and support you during this crisis. You are not alone.
     
  3. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    "Lord, please help me" - ....... He does when we ask him to W1 - I'd like to support you in the asking, because I know the Lord does hear and answer and gives us a new perspective when we bring our stuff to him. I know to many it sounds like wishful thinking and fantasy, etc. but maybe those have never been desperate enough to get really serious in their request, as to be willing to believe and then to trust. Someone to listen and understand is another positive thing to do, and am glad you've found SF where we will all try to help and support you. It's never too late to turn situations around and start over, and there's stuff we can learn to help us do this, like negotiation skills etc. for relationships. There's tons of resources available to help you rebuild your life hun, please believe that :)
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You hun are not what those thoughts are telling you ok that is just the dam depression talking. You are a good father and husband you are doing the best you can to stay to fight
    Your daughter she will need you always hun always You keep releasing that pain here ok you keep venting it but know no one here will ever judge you Be easy on you hun ok
    you are good hun and you are needed and loved Don't let the pain inside you take you away from them ok
     
  5. worthless1

    worthless1 Member

    I have good days and bad days. I have not eaten a bite in 30 hours. I have no appetite. I am hungry but don't want to eat. I guess I'll eat when I get hungry enough.

    The wired thing is I know God, or maybe I used to know Him. I was an ordained minister at one time. Now look at me. Lord please help me.
     
  6. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Honey - When we no longer believe in ourselves, God still believe in us. Through this connection we can come to seeing our way clear again, even if the connection needs to be resurrected :) You are not worthless W1 because God still believes in you and is there for you, despite our pain and wretchedness. The hurt and anger are there for reasons, and once we understand why, it helps in our healing. Is it possible for you to front up to the pain and accepting the reasons for these feelings? Because, I promise you, there is a truth that comes from God with the power to heal them, if we will accept his truth :)
     
  7. worthless1

    worthless1 Member

    This day is off to a bad start. I need help. I don't know who to trust. My mind is racing my heart beat is increased, my breathing is deep. Qi may be having a panic attack. I feel like hitting myself again. I am starting to hate myself again.
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Please don't hate yourself. Hate is a very strong word. Do you have anything to take for panic attacks?
     
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