Mark and I were so in love. We had our arguments. The day he commited suicide he left our home angry. No note. Just anger. I tried finding him that Christmas eve. I tried. I called. Why wouldn't he pick up the phone or text me back. He called me once and hung up. He left so mad at me. I wanted him home. Not all relationships agree all the time however I still wanted us to hold hands. Things would have been ok. I feel unwanted by someone that always treated me like gold. Why hurt me so bad and make me feel punished for fighting with him by taking his life. Why punish me by not answering my calls. desperate looking for him.He rang me one time thru my 133 ring attempts to him. He did not talk. I said some mean things during our argument. I told him to go back with his old girlfriend. Silly stuff. Just anger words. I wanted him home. I had our dinner cooking and a special Christmas plan we had. I need help. I want to know that he loved me. His last words were not I LOVE YOU. His last words were anger. Thats hurts me. I feel pain so bad.