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My daughter is a teenager. She has always been a perfect student, and works hard outside of school. Appearance wise she's a gem, and I have people tell me this constantly.
Well, what secrets lurk behind closed doors? She has never been social. No prom, no dance, no clubs. I never pushed it. She is now from on a scale from #1 being a fabulous kid to a #75 if the scale was 1-10. Complete change.
The end of the last school year is when she started talking suicide. She had a paper to do which she did no think fair as she was not goofing off in the class. Of course she wasn't because her nose is in a book. So she was so mad about this paper. She also at that time got a boyfriend and it was whirlwind. No time for a paper. She "had a life" now as she explained it and no paper was going to dtop that. So, suicide was the only way she knew how to get out of doing this paper. FOUR hours. FOUR we walked and I listened. I was alarmed. I told her we'd find a solution, and ending your life may have you miss a chance of something great up the road.
Did the counseling. She hated it, and we tried four different ones. Waste of time she told me as she now would never harm herself.
*****Now the big question part. Everything was not going her way. From school to not getting asked to dance at a social function. She's packing on weight really fast, and is heavy again. Anytime I mentioned the gym or counting some points she shrugged, and said who cares. The depression was clear to me.
I got a call anonymously from a girl at her school's mom. She informed me my daughter had a plan all set to kill herself. The first boyfriend ditched her, and then it really went bad. I get another call from a family friend that she's really depressed, and I have to get her help.
O.K. so I never in my life read a diary of anyone. I respect that privacy as my own mom was always looking through my things. The old "You're under my roof. I look at whatever I want".
So her diary is OUT right in plain view. It's on the bed, and I was taking sheets off to wash. With all that was going on with her I read it. Oh, it was suicide this, and that. A little post to Sylvia Plath it would not be long now. She had a method. She was getting sleeping pills from a named person, and geting a bottle of vodka from my brothers wine cellar.
Reading on and on every single day how she was getting ready to go kill herself I thought I was being a responsible parent.
Apparently my ex husband and mom were more upset I read it then they were of her words. Her dad downplayed it big time. Tells me all teen girls do that. They all say they're going to kill themselves and hope they die in their sleep. Of course her heart got poured out about the boyfriend who ditched her as well, and it was pathetic.
I asked her dad to come over and e'd all discuss it. he did, and took the book from me. He had no time to look at it then. OH-OKAY, thanks.
Off he went with her book, and I have a supposedly suicidal kid on my hands. I did not sleep for four night's sraight. I kept going in her room to see she was breathing.
Long story short after all these years my parents helped me raise her she didn't like the punishment of me taking her cell phone as she was caught in a car with FIVE guys. FIVE strangers. TV was off as well as the internet.
Suddenly she is with her dad all the time. Something is up. She did start smoking and he was angry as was I. Although he put it like this verbatim "I rather her smoke weed than ciggies". Hmmmmmm, GREAT.
Now i am the big bad mean mom. I hand out a punishment, and BAM she says she is leaving. No, not after you have been raised in this house. No, as this is where you belong. NO, no. no. Off she went. Interesting as at that time she came back for her STUFF as they wheeled my mom out into an ambulance. The ldy that helped raise her. gave her everything she owns. Loves so much she'd walk sick in a storm for this kid.
Now, can someone tell me was I WRONG to read that diary when I constantly heard her tell me all about her killing herself? Again we were at four therapists. I tried, and am still trying, but she skeedaddled over to her dad's. She knows my mom is in the hospital through family friends. She has not even called her. Maybe she won't be suicidal over her dads families house.
I just need to know shouldn't a parent take that seriously? Death, suicide ideation, and then planning? Diary or no diary? When do we take this seriously? Should I have just ignored it like her father? I just couldn't.
I am worried sick.
Thanks in advance and sorry for the long arse post. I am beside myself.:sad:
Well, what secrets lurk behind closed doors? She has never been social. No prom, no dance, no clubs. I never pushed it. She is now from on a scale from #1 being a fabulous kid to a #75 if the scale was 1-10. Complete change.
The end of the last school year is when she started talking suicide. She had a paper to do which she did no think fair as she was not goofing off in the class. Of course she wasn't because her nose is in a book. So she was so mad about this paper. She also at that time got a boyfriend and it was whirlwind. No time for a paper. She "had a life" now as she explained it and no paper was going to dtop that. So, suicide was the only way she knew how to get out of doing this paper. FOUR hours. FOUR we walked and I listened. I was alarmed. I told her we'd find a solution, and ending your life may have you miss a chance of something great up the road.
Did the counseling. She hated it, and we tried four different ones. Waste of time she told me as she now would never harm herself.
*****Now the big question part. Everything was not going her way. From school to not getting asked to dance at a social function. She's packing on weight really fast, and is heavy again. Anytime I mentioned the gym or counting some points she shrugged, and said who cares. The depression was clear to me.
I got a call anonymously from a girl at her school's mom. She informed me my daughter had a plan all set to kill herself. The first boyfriend ditched her, and then it really went bad. I get another call from a family friend that she's really depressed, and I have to get her help.
O.K. so I never in my life read a diary of anyone. I respect that privacy as my own mom was always looking through my things. The old "You're under my roof. I look at whatever I want".
So her diary is OUT right in plain view. It's on the bed, and I was taking sheets off to wash. With all that was going on with her I read it. Oh, it was suicide this, and that. A little post to Sylvia Plath it would not be long now. She had a method. She was getting sleeping pills from a named person, and geting a bottle of vodka from my brothers wine cellar.
Reading on and on every single day how she was getting ready to go kill herself I thought I was being a responsible parent.
Apparently my ex husband and mom were more upset I read it then they were of her words. Her dad downplayed it big time. Tells me all teen girls do that. They all say they're going to kill themselves and hope they die in their sleep. Of course her heart got poured out about the boyfriend who ditched her as well, and it was pathetic.
I asked her dad to come over and e'd all discuss it. he did, and took the book from me. He had no time to look at it then. OH-OKAY, thanks.
Off he went with her book, and I have a supposedly suicidal kid on my hands. I did not sleep for four night's sraight. I kept going in her room to see she was breathing.
Long story short after all these years my parents helped me raise her she didn't like the punishment of me taking her cell phone as she was caught in a car with FIVE guys. FIVE strangers. TV was off as well as the internet.
Suddenly she is with her dad all the time. Something is up. She did start smoking and he was angry as was I. Although he put it like this verbatim "I rather her smoke weed than ciggies". Hmmmmmm, GREAT.
Now i am the big bad mean mom. I hand out a punishment, and BAM she says she is leaving. No, not after you have been raised in this house. No, as this is where you belong. NO, no. no. Off she went. Interesting as at that time she came back for her STUFF as they wheeled my mom out into an ambulance. The ldy that helped raise her. gave her everything she owns. Loves so much she'd walk sick in a storm for this kid.
Now, can someone tell me was I WRONG to read that diary when I constantly heard her tell me all about her killing herself? Again we were at four therapists. I tried, and am still trying, but she skeedaddled over to her dad's. She knows my mom is in the hospital through family friends. She has not even called her. Maybe she won't be suicidal over her dads families house.
I just need to know shouldn't a parent take that seriously? Death, suicide ideation, and then planning? Diary or no diary? When do we take this seriously? Should I have just ignored it like her father? I just couldn't.
I am worried sick.
Thanks in advance and sorry for the long arse post. I am beside myself.:sad: