Did it again (triggering)

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Hurted, Apr 7, 2008.

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  1. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    Few minutes after midnight... few minutes after 21 days without it...
    But yesterday was such a depressive day... so many triggers... too many... I was just standing in room for 10 minutes with blade next to me skin...i start to crying... i didnt know what to do... and then i just cut... it felt so fucking good! I tottally forget what feeling it is... now I have to do it again... ive been thinking all day about it... I thought that i will do it just once and then try to stop again but i totally lost motivation... and i have to do it again... it feels so fucking great... And ive been so depressed last 2 days... i can hardly fall asleep and im waking up in the middle of night... i almost felt asleep in school today...I cant remember if i sleep yesterday, but probaly i did cause i remember dreams... well i guess i didnt sleep more than 1 or 2 hours...
     
  2. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    Again...
    I can see the old circle coming back...
     
  3. Broken Wings

    Broken Wings Well-Known Member

    I'm in the same boat... four months of trying not to hurt... And now fourteen little lines showing how broken I really am... And I really want to go again now.
     
  4. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    I didnt cut after that... So 3 weeks without cutting... But this time i have urges again...

    BTW: I just found out how my memory is fucked up. I thought that i didnt cut 2,5 month:sad:
     
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