Did it again..

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by emack54, Mar 23, 2008.

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  1. emack54

    emack54 Well-Known Member

    I attempted again and am still here... I spent the last week on the ward that I have come to know all to well. I am pissed at myself because I didnt succeed and wonder why the heck do I think like this. I mean what kind of screwed up person like myself is angry because they are still alive. I am so angry with myself. My family all they can do is cry and yet I dont feel guilty. They are talking of locking me up in a long term psychiatric facility and all I can think of is Girl Interrupted. Am I that bad of a person?
     
  2. I dont think your a bad person just a good person who fell on bad times,
    i know how you feel? i dont think its that ur still alive thats pissing you off its the fact that you feel like a **** that you cudnt evan get that right.
    as thats the same thought ive had in my head since my failed attempt.

    im still contemplating on getting it right which is so fuked up but yet what is normality? thats the only thing which keeps me sane
     
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    you are a good person. i have no doubts.

    are there other options than the psych ward? most places prefer outpatient treatment, if you are willing to accept help. their main goal is to keep you alive, until that time that your own desire to live returns. you have everything within you to heal. please hang on.
     
  4. Marie72

    Marie72 Member

    I can relate to everything you are saying; you sound like me many years ago. I was such a mess and thought that my family would be better off without me and my death would bring them relief. I was wrong. It took many years to realize that they loved me for me and I was the only one who felt I was a miserable, disgusting excuse of a human. I still struggle but I have come such a long way in healing myself that I know that death is not the answer. I never, ever thought that I would be at this point in my life but I am and I am now thankful that my attempts failed (and grateful that I did not have too much long term physical damage) You need help and support; please give yourself a chance. It won't be easy but you can do it.
     
  5. suicidal maniac

    suicidal maniac Well-Known Member

    Maybe you should move away from your family.
     
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