after many days over the past 3 weeks contemplating it, wanting to do it but waiting for the time only for the mood to go, today the mood didnt go, i did it. It took some sawing to get through mind :mellow: I know everyone says stop dont do it etc, i understand, but before you start posting that from my side right now stopping wont get me friends, a social life, happiness, the girl i love, confidence, belief, self esteem, freedom, independance. And before you say get help, i dont feel like i am capable of getting it. Anyway i dont want the you must stop you must get help replies, i'm sorry to say they will not make a difference, reading something like that on a forum isnt making me want to. So i guess i'll get no replies, lol.