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DID...Kinda

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I have DID or MPD, whichever you wanna call it.

My alter-egos have names.

One of them is Jane.

Jane is...yeah well she's psychotically angry. When she takes over, I break shit, I scream and shout, I hurt myself and another people, I have fits of rage randomly.

But it's always just been Jane. And it's like a hot anger. Red anger.

Then there's me.

Until lately I was pretty okay. No more angry than the other average person (cept Jane) and I didn't do a lot more than yell and occasionally punch the wall.

That's changing.

For the last three weeks, when I'm mad at someone, it's...cold.

Cold and calculating.

I stand there, watching them, when I'm angry or they're having a go at me.

And I imagine killing them.

In detail.

I start to plan it.

Plan their death, hidin the body...everythin

And then I get the urge to DO it too

My hands twitch and I have to restrain myself from picking up a weapon.

It's not Jane...it's me.

And it's fuckin scary.

What's goin on?
 
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