did you feel compelled to follow-though?

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by MdngtRain, Sep 3, 2013.

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  1. MdngtRain

    MdngtRain Well-Known Member

    The first time I tried, I planned it. I had made the commitment to myself that I would try, but suddenly felt afraid right before going through with it. I couldn't stop though, because I had made the commitment to myself that I would follow through on the plan. I felt like I had to because I told myself (no one else knew) that I would do it. I hadn't taken any action at the time so I could have stopped without anyone being the wiser, but I didn't feel like I was allowed to back out of the plan. Has anyone ever felt that way?
    (that did not happen with my second attempt because it was more impulsive and I was pretty out of it at the time, I barely remember trying)
     
  2. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    from what i remember, most of my attempts wern't planned... they were just as it happens. i planned i'd kill myself, but not how i'd do it

    recently though they've been more planned out- an dmy suicide urges get stronger.
     
  3. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    Funny thing is that my last overdose was the most traumatic and I remembered that I only wanted to overdose to get unconscious, wake up in the psych hospital, and get treatment in the hospital, then get released in 2 weeks so I can come back home and continue with my Master's degree courses. I never wanted to die that time, just to be out of it for awhile. Little did I know that I had a life-changing event that even to this day, I have not attempted another suicide act for fear of really following through with it. No, I really don't want to die anymore. I will seek help from this forum before I think of taking my life-purposely.
     
  4. SplinterStar

    SplinterStar Active Member

    I've done 4 serious attempts on my life and 3 of them were planned. I tried to through with the planned ones but my self sense of preservation always made me screw them up at the last second. The only one that succeeded (almost) was random. <mod edit - methods>. Woke up in the hospital a few days after I started, apparently my neighbor didn't like me blaring music and went to complaint, finding me passed out.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 11, 2013
  5. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Indeed.
     
  6. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    Most were just a momentary impulse, but i knew they would happen. Generally i don't go on the plan it self, but i let it happen
     
  7. Elias

    Elias Member

    Never attempted, but there's one I'm planning.
    Planning is an euphemism. I've researched toxicology and medical journals for at least two years.

    Thing is : impulsive attempts potentially make your life even worse. I don't want to (random example) cut my tendons and having problems with my hands, I don't want my brain to get damaged and having people constricted to keep me in care, I don't. want. to.

    Somebody said 'people are fragile'. No, I don't agree. We're strong and life in us is even stronger.
     
  8. Danialla

    Danialla Well-Known Member

    Definitely! I am currently trying, but I have to make it look like a accident. I think about it before I do anything but I just feel compelled to follow through. I am having ECT presently to help rid me of those feelings, but so far I still have the urge. No one knows I am still trying.
     
  9. 9426

    9426 Member

    The second one I planned. I took a bunch of pills and sat in a forest near where I live waiting to die. Well, someone found me and tried to unsuccessfully wake me up. I woke up in the hospital and ended up spending a month in the youth psych ward. (I was 17 at the time)
     
  10. pogosticker

    pogosticker Well-Known Member

    That was exactly it. I planned it, started doubting myself, but felt like I HAD to do it... So I did. It was like it had all built up to that point and I couldn't back out, even though I kind of wanted to.
     
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