im just tired. it never ends. either I am depressed one day or angry the next. Im never happy. Im barely ever "content". and thats all I want....is to be emotionally neutral. completely void, un-exaggeratingly apathetic. (not sure if that is a word but it is now). motivation for more than rehearsals, for more than finding the perfect place for my body to be discovered. how about motivated to wake up. not even for work, not for school but just to know for once in my life I don't feel remorse and regret about still being alive and that no matter how hard I try I can never possibly put into words how empty I feel and how despite this all I want is more emptiness.