Didnt know what to say

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by itmahanh, Oct 7, 2010.

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  1. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I've cut for many many years. I dont hide the scars. I dont flaunt the scars. They are just there. It's not like I forget they are there. They just are. Just like any other part of me.

    I went to pick up my son from kindergarten. I dont "fit" in with the other Mom's cuz of my mental health issues. It's hard to not go find a corner and wait til it's my son's turn to leave. I cant make idle chatter. I dont know anyone like they all seem to know one another. I want to, but I just cant.

    So it's like any other pick up. It's been wonderfully beautiful weather for this time of year. Still t-shirt weather, which I happen to be wearing. A mom comes up to me with this sickening smile glued on her face. She almost whispers when she says to me "could you please cover those somehow they make me uncomfortable. And I dont think the children should have to see that."

    I stood there, like a moron. I didnt know what to say. I didnt know what to do. I just stood there. I'm certain the rest of them thought I was being an asshole or defiant. I was numb.

    I dont want to go pick up my son tomorrow. But I have to. So thinking I'll just show up late. I have never ever let my scars affect me. But something has died. Something has eaten up all the brave and fight. I dont know what to do. And yes, I've cut after getting home. And I'll cut tomorrow. It's what I know.
     
  2. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Be yourself, wear your scars.

    My friend said to me, she seems them as battle wounds.

    Pick up your son at the same time, wear your short sleeves and enjoy the sun.

    If they approach you again, say to them 'Your attitude towards mental illness makes me uncomfortable'.

    I'm sorry you have to be faced with such ignorant people :hug:
     
  3. Johnnyc

    Johnnyc Well-Known Member

    don't mind her she's just a bitch, don't give in to others misunderstanding behavior, wear a tank top next time
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It was not a child that was uncomfortable it was an adult she was uncomfortable with your pain and did not know how to handle it so she threw it back on you.
    You go to the school tomorrow and you pick up your son and you tell this person that those scars are apart of you and if she doesn't like it then don't look
    It is her problem not yours okay she is the ignorant person uncaring ass and she needs to know you will not be pushed into doing anything
    If it upsets her so then tell her to keep her eyes and mouth to herself
    In stead of reaching out a hand of friendship of care she chose to look after her own needs not yours.
    don't be bullied okay don't you are an adult now the hell with her
    take care of you my friend okay stay strong
     
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    what a horrible woman she is....kids wouldn't even know what your scars were about ....
    since when does someone get to tell someone else to cover their arms ....
    I'm so sorry this happened to you..
    don't let some ignorant :zombie: get to you hun....
    Geez...next time you could do this at her..:moon:..then she'd have something to winge about..
     
  6. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Thanks all. I know I should just ignore her. But walked my little one to the bus pick up this morning at 7:45am and starting getting anxious about picking him up once his foot hit the first step on the bus!!!! It's not even 10:30am but already my stomach is twisted in knots, my legs are going nuts shaking, and I want to slice myself up everywhere. Swear feels like my chest is going to explode. Can barely breath. Yeah just a panic attack. Just. To me it's too much. Everything is too much. The least I can do is not cut where she has to see it this time. I've got long hair so I'll use my neck. Then we will both be happy. :cry:
     
  7. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry this happened to you. How did it go today when you picked him up?

    I agree with what the others have said. Your scars are a part of you, and you shouldn't have to hide them. It might have been different if a child had been uncomfortable, but no child would even register them, let alone understand, let alone be bothered by it! This was just an ignorant, and frankly, cruel woman.

    I particularly like Domo's suggested response: "Your attitude towards mental illness makes me uncomfortable".

    It's World Mental Health Day today as well. This sort of thing proves how far we have to go.

    Mim
     
  8. Johnnyc

    Johnnyc Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry you had to go thru such anxiety and pain,It makes you wonder if that one woman realizes what she had done.
     
  9. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Again thanks all for the support and kind words. Today didnt go well at all. I got a phone call and purposely let it go longer than I should of. So I was able to get there late. But the closer I got the more I fell apart. I could barely walk, literally. Once I got my little guy, we went to the truck and all I could do was shake. He thought he did something wrong and that made me cry. Because of some person's ignorance, my little guy thought he did something wrong!!!!!!! And now I feel like I've done something wrong by him. Let him down somehow. And I feel like I'm just adding to the stigma that others feel with mental health problems. I just feel so tired of it all. Sorry.
     
  10. Johnnyc

    Johnnyc Well-Known Member

    Don't be sorry, Never be sorry when it comes to your mental and personal problems.
     
  11. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    Our scars make us who we are. And this other mum is a fucking bitch. :laugh:.

    Imagine how she would take it if her son or daughter was diagnosed with depression or schizophrenia/other mental illness? She would probly hide him/her away....neglect them.

    Plus, in the end the children don't know what the scars are from. They don't naturally jump to conclusions and say someone is harming themselves. They've probly never heard of it. I remember that I had never heard of cutting yourself before maybe 12 years old? It was when 'A Current Affair'(news program) aired a story about people that cut themselves and stuff. Funny thing was was back then I thought I could never be able to do something to myself such as that. Well look where I am now??.....

    This mother who approached you is pathetic.

    I say make her feel uncomfortable, SHE CAN'T DO SHIT ABOUT IT. Don't hide your scars if you are comfortable with it, our scars make us who we are!(Not just the physical ones, we are shaped by our experiences if what I just said didn't make much sense :laugh:)
     
  12. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry that it didn't go well, although I think you did very well indeed to get yourself there and face it. You should be proud of yourself, not apologising! You've done absolutely nothing wrong at all.

    Look at the damage and devastation this one nasty, ignorant woman has caused. How dare she have such a negative effect on someone else?! Who does she think she is?!

    As much as I actually wouldn't wish poor mental health on anyone, I do hope that one day she has to look after someone with depression and mental health issues - maybe it'll teach her some compassion and humility.

    Please don't let this one stupid woman get to you, she's not worth it. If anything, I feel that we should pity her for being such a shallow bitch with the emotion depth of a teaspoon.

    We're behind you every step of the way. I wish we could literally be there to put her in her place, and maybe rub a few scars in her face, but we're with you in thought and spirit, hopefully giving you strength to be proud of who you are.

    Mim
     
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