Im not actually suicidal, I just dont know anywhere else to post something like this. I dont go for psychiatry sessons anymore(manic depressive), havent been to one in 2 years. I was told I could take medication, but I didnt want to, and because Im not Bipolar, it wasnt strongly suggested or required. So I dont. Im good at my job, which is kind of retail, but Im in the backroom doing inventory and using powered equipment, so its more like warehouse. the company I work for is changing policies, and cutting people down to below 20 hours. I wasnt let go, and I still get 35 - 40 hrs, but Im expected to cover the positions that other people did, without receiving a raise. while talking to some of my friends at work, before they quit. They told me that they were making 7.50 hr, and Im making 7.51 hr with a year and a half experience. minimum wage where I live is 6.70 by state, thats kind of important to me, I dont know if it should be, but it is. I would quit, but none of the companies I apply to call back, and Im not very social so sales and service arent something I really want to do... I finally saved up enough for college, on my own :smile: and tried applying for a pell grant to help. but they denied me. :sad: I dont really have an opinion on that, but I held the letter for more then 3 hours, so I know its not a good opinion. Im hoping after paying for the first semester that I can get a loan or discount because I know Ill make good grades. but Ill see what happens. classes start in May, and I have my notice to attend orientation in April. :smile: Im a virgin, because of a lot of issues in my past, I just dont really like sex. It bothers me from time to time when other discuss sex, but I can normally just look past it. I tried dating recently, and now I cant get past it. The older I get the worse its getting. Im told that people have disabilities, like having a hard time getting it up, or like myself, a lack of interests, but in months of searching and chatting in all forms. Ive only met one gentlemen in his 40s who can relate. thats kind of a big disappointment. :huh::sad: I guess thats enough. I just wanted to post something.