Didn't Really try to kill myself

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by silver76, Jun 11, 2008.

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  1. silver76

    silver76 Active Member

    I didn't. I just didn't care if it happened. Got home last night pissed off at the world. Hating everything. Mad, deppressed, stuck. Can't look for help, but need it. So I wanted to calm down. Good ole Xanax (alprazolam). So I took a few. Then had a few beers. Things got squishy. I felt real good, thought this might be it. But thanks to a high tolarence I just had a night of crazy dreams(talking badgers in space, that type of thing) So Im here another day. Yeah i am so pleased,:dry:
     
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I for one am glad you failed. I am also suicidal and I don't like to hear that someone has tried suicide and failed. You should take that as a wake up call that it wasn't ment to be!!
    I don't know you so I can't tell you anything you haven't already told your self. I'm just glad you failed at this attempt. You should talk to someone while your thoughts are at a standstill trying to figure out what happened.
    Keep the faith and stay strong!!:chopper:
     
  3. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    Not meaning to pry - can't you find a doctor using your phone? I understand going to appointments could be another story. Maybe the doctor would have someone who could go to your home. I'm glad you just had weird dreams.
     
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Does your pdoc have an emergency number you could have used? Is there anyone you can talk to and let him/her know that sometimes you just want to talk? Maybe next time go into chat and see if there is anyone there to support you...if you do not know anyone, ask a mod or chat monitor if they have time...just my 2 sense, glad you are with us, J
     
  5. silver76

    silver76 Active Member

    Wish i could talk to someone. I have made reall attempts. 30 depakote, was the worst. This was more of a "If it happens it happens" thing. I can't talk to anyone because of my job. I have clearances that could be revoked for seeking help. Thanks for the responses though
     
  6. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    Why should your company know you're seeing a therapist? They are very good at keeping things confidential.
     
  7. silver76

    silver76 Active Member

    Insurance is through the company, and I work for the military with security clearances. Things are not so clear cut with this stuff. National Security and all.
     
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