Die carebear35 Die!!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by carebear35, Aug 29, 2015.

  1. carebear35

    carebear35 Active Member

    Just stating what you all feel, but won't say. Heck, the whole world feels the same way. I think I made a mistake.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm sorry but I certainly do not feel this way. You are obviously going through a crisis, what is going on?
  3. carebear35

    carebear35 Active Member

    Nobody wants me around. I start a conversation with someone and they just disappear and never come back. Why am I such a bad person? I'm sick and tired of feeling empty all the time. Before someone complains that this is a suicide note it's not, but I do feel the time has come.
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Heya, carebear35. I'm glad you're here! What's going on to make you think you're not wanted here? (hug)

    What hobbies or interests do you enjoy (with others and/or by yourself)? If we can be alone and keep ourselves company it can take the edge off that "empty" feeling.

    What sorts of things would you like to do but you haven't tried them yet?
  5. carebear35

    carebear35 Active Member

    Hi Acy, maybe I should have been specific. My apologies. It's not this site that's making me feel unwanted (much), numb and empty. To be honest it's my friends on facebook. They start the conversation and then vanish. Sometimes they don't even notice me for weeks at a time. I sound pathetic. I used to like Cross Stitch, but with several complications with my depression and now BPD I've lost my love for it. I do listen to music though. Love the 80's, classic rock and some heavy metal.
  6. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Carebear, you don't sound pathetic, you sound hurt. There is a difference!

    I'm so sorry your friends on facebook are doing that. :( Do you poke them every so often to say, "Hey...I thought we were talking about _______" ? Are they just on fb or also in real life? If these are your real life friends, maybe talk to them about how it hurts to be left hanging in a conversation...? Some people make online-only friends and disappear if real life calls them away. They don't invest the same feelings in their online friendships. It is nothing about you, it's about them. (hug)

    I'm glad you have some hobbies. I'm sorry that cross stitch is on the shelf right now. Music is always good! I was a young adult in the '80s - what are your favorites from then? My favorite music is '60s rock/pop, jazz, blues, folk, and classical. I love good trumpet...popular music or classical. :) How else do you do to fill your days? I hope you keep posting here so you meet a few more people who will be good to know! :)
  7. carebear35

    carebear35 Active Member

    I have a range of favourites. I was just a small child during the 80's so it's the happiest time of my life. I like Duran Duran, Depeche Mode, Aha, Howard Jones, Nik Kershaw, Roxette has always been a favourite, Chris De Burgh, I like "True Faith" by New Order and a whole lot of others I can't think of right now.

    There is at least 2 real life friends that seem to be acting rather odd. I asked the one if I had done anything wrong and he said no, and yet he only talks to me every 2 weeks at our meeting (if he comes) the other one claims to be busy and yet she always seems to have time to talk to other people. As for my online friends for most of them it's night time when they contact me.

    My psychologist has suggested that I try and go for a walk and I did once, but I just feel too tired to even get out of bed sometimes.
  8. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Feeling so tired we don't want to get out of bed can be part of depression. I'm sorry you're feeling that. Even when I'm not depressed, I love being snuggled under the sheet in bed. A favorite safe place for me. :D

    The weird thing about exercise is that doing it on a regular basis (every day or every other day), it tends to boost our energy eventually. We soon begin to miss the walk if we don't do it. If our energy doesn't improve and/or we don't miss the walks, then maybe it's time for a check up at the doctor. I've had anemia (low iron) and it's amazing how quickly the iron tablets brought up my energy and interest. Medical check up is just an idea. *nods*

    Those friends don't sound as "friendly" as they could be. That would hurt me. Maybe you could get into some other groups and other interests to meet a few more people. (I know it's hard, and it takes time. Worth it, though!) At the moment, you've got all your eggs riding with two people. Maybe a few more people would give you a better base? Again, just an idea.

    Duran Duran and Chris De Burgh - omg, it's been a while, but wow, just wow! I always enjoy De Burgh's lyrics - good "stories" in most of them. :)

    Carebear, I like you. You're an interesting person and have lots to offer. I hope you reach out more here and also in activities in real life. If that works, it's great. If it doesn't, at least you get out for a walk and are not letting life slide past you. Maybe there are other new things to try, too. Keep us posted on how things are going. Wishing you the best! :) (hug)