Die Die Die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Lady Byron, Aug 28, 2006.

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  1. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    I wanted to just drop dead today. I was thinking of killing myself today. I am an ASSHOLE!!! My best friend hates my guts and won't pick up his phone. I just want to die. He's like the only friend I have :sad:. I called him thinking I was going to have an awesome conversation and my cousins showed up at his house. I was pissed. So I said I needed to go and hung up. (It's kind of confusing to explain) and then I called him back an hour later to tell him I was sorry and he asked me if I was okay, (my cousins were still there and when they are over at his house he totally ignores me. well, he doesn't ignore me, but he doesn't really listen to me like he does when he's alone.) and I was going to start to cry, and I didn't want to cry while I was on the phone so I said I had to go and hung up. I'm such a bitch. God, what did I do to deserve my miserable life. I wish I had the courage to kill myself. Well, I wanna go kill myself now!!!!
     
  2. allofme

    allofme Staff Alumni

    i really am sorry things are going so poorly for you... i understand how it is when you want someones attention and they are not available to you.... i am sure your friend does not hate your guts... when your cousins leave maybe you can go to your friends home and just tell him/her what is going on with you... i think it may be more than what happened today on the phone... we are here if you want to talk about anything....
     
  3. ShadyMalingerer

    ShadyMalingerer Active Member

    Come on dude, it's a conversation that went a little wrong. I know how you feel, I just had a bad conversation on the phone and wished desperately I could go back in time and do it again, right. But in the end the best way of coping with things is by stepping back and putting it in perspective. It's only one phone call. It can easily be undone by another.
     
  4. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    you don't understand, it's not just this conversation that went "a little wrong." every single one of our conversations go wrong. everytime he wants me to open up to him someone goes over to his house or he's busy or he needs to go to a doctor's appointment. he has an excuse for everything. i can't go over to his house and talk to him because my mom doesn't even want me talking to him. "he's a bad influence" is what she and my brothers all say. but he listens to me like no one else does. that's what i find so special about him.
     
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