Hi, I am David and have been here before. I am ready to just <mod edit - methods>. There is so much stress in my life. I have had a brain injury and work full time. I am in constant pain and have horrible fatigue. I have an abusive spouse (wife) who just doesnt know when to stop. last night after laying in bed all weekend I went to play poker for a few hours. She had a fit and wants to leave me and then took my phone. We argued for 3 hours. I went to bed at 3AM and got up at 7 for work. I have to listen to people abuse me all day in a cusotmer service job. I feel like my soul died years ago. The feelings of emptiness just go on and on. I want to damge myself so I have some feeling of SOMETHING. Then I think what if I get better and ruin it for a nice person I may meet. I really need to get away. <Mod Edit:Methods> Calling hotlines is a joke. They just give you the same canned BS. No one has the kindness to understand the good person I am and take the time to care. I asked my nephew Saturday to send me a video of his new puppy to cheer me up. He didnt have the decency to do so. he's too busy? It takes 30 seconds to video a dog and 10 seconds to send it. Maybe he can make a trip to my funeral. Writing a letter today. Not going home after work. We ll see where that goes.. If anyone wants to respond or PM me that would be good. Thank you.