I'm in a bit of a difficult situation. An online friend of mine that I've known for over two years plans to visit my home country next summer, and I'm worried. He's made no secret of the fact that he has romantic interests in me, and I'm afraid that he'll come here expecting something more than just friendship, even though I've told him countless times that I'm not interested in that. Problem with him is that he has an awfully huge ego, and believes, despite my telling him otherwise, that me and him will eventually end up together and live happily ever after, etc. It annoys the fuck out of me, because he did this whilst I was with my ex-boyfriend as well; telling me he loved me, saying rude disgusting things to me, trying to break us up, etc., but he just never gets the message. Now he's telling me he's staying with some friends of his in England next summer and plans to come and visit me. I really don't want it to happen, but I feel powerless to stop it. If I get aggressive and nasty and tell him to just back the fuck off he'll get EXTREMELY emo as he so often does, and start lying to me and making me feel bad. Once he even told me he had cancer and only two weeks left to live after I rejected him. I know he sounds like somebody I shouldn't have in my life, and a lot of the time I don't want him in it, but I have my reasons. I've tried being as nice as I possibly can about it but it's not getting through to him.
Not only that, but he is the kind of person who can get VERY difficult to handle if things don't go his way. He knows my facebook url (we aren't friends on there but he knows how to find me) and I'm worried that he'll do the thing I've always been afraid he will; add my 'friends' and family and start talking about me with them; how we're going to get married and have kids and be so happy, along with all his other crazy beliefs. He's done it before after I've told him not to, and it's something he knows I don't like him doing. I refuse to add him on Facebook due to the fact that I know he'll look through all my wall posts and friends pages. He's often said to me that he wants to get to know my family because they're going to be his future family and I know him well enough to say that he WILL add my siblings on Facebook if the fancy takes him. The only reason he hasn't done it so far is because we're on good terms and I've told him not to. He's the kind of person that says disgusting things about sex and he is a HUGE embarassment in that regard, it'll be even worse if he starts adding my brothers and sisters and talking to them about how many kids we're gunna have and trying to get to me through them; making me come around to his way of thinking that I should go out with him.
I know this all sounds completely insane but I know this is the kind of thing he'd do based off of all the things he's said to me over the years. Comments about how he ought to start to get to know my family so I should give him my cousins MSN's, how I should let him stay at my house when he visits so that he can meet his future in-laws, adding one of my close online friends on Facebook after I directly told him not to, the list goes on.. I've tried talking to him about it and he always promises not to do these things but as soon as we have a falling out it's like his promises don't matter anymore, because he just goes and does what he wants to anyway. I don't really know what to do about this situation short of deleting my Facebook (which I don't want to do for communication purposes) or just putting up with him whilst he's here and hoping nothing bad happens.
Not only that, but he is the kind of person who can get VERY difficult to handle if things don't go his way. He knows my facebook url (we aren't friends on there but he knows how to find me) and I'm worried that he'll do the thing I've always been afraid he will; add my 'friends' and family and start talking about me with them; how we're going to get married and have kids and be so happy, along with all his other crazy beliefs. He's done it before after I've told him not to, and it's something he knows I don't like him doing. I refuse to add him on Facebook due to the fact that I know he'll look through all my wall posts and friends pages. He's often said to me that he wants to get to know my family because they're going to be his future family and I know him well enough to say that he WILL add my siblings on Facebook if the fancy takes him. The only reason he hasn't done it so far is because we're on good terms and I've told him not to. He's the kind of person that says disgusting things about sex and he is a HUGE embarassment in that regard, it'll be even worse if he starts adding my brothers and sisters and talking to them about how many kids we're gunna have and trying to get to me through them; making me come around to his way of thinking that I should go out with him.
I know this all sounds completely insane but I know this is the kind of thing he'd do based off of all the things he's said to me over the years. Comments about how he ought to start to get to know my family so I should give him my cousins MSN's, how I should let him stay at my house when he visits so that he can meet his future in-laws, adding one of my close online friends on Facebook after I directly told him not to, the list goes on.. I've tried talking to him about it and he always promises not to do these things but as soon as we have a falling out it's like his promises don't matter anymore, because he just goes and does what he wants to anyway. I don't really know what to do about this situation short of deleting my Facebook (which I don't want to do for communication purposes) or just putting up with him whilst he's here and hoping nothing bad happens.