dilemma

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by mpang123, Jul 21, 2013.

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  1. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    I want to overdose so bad. I already know what to do. However, if i overdose on it, I won't have it anymore and I need it and the doctor will never prescribe it for me anymore. I may lose my apartment and independence andmove back to a personal care home. I will not die from this, but be unconscious for awhile. At least it satisfies my thoughts and urges to overdose. I need help but im hesitant to tell anyone. I don't know what to do anymore.
     
  2. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    hey,

    are you okay?

    have you managed to distract yourself?

    i am sorry i've not seen this thread until now (i have only just got on)

    hope you managed to distract yourself
     
  3. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    I just posted this so you didn't miss much. I'm counting the cost of my projected actions. As you may know, I've been struggling lately on suicidal ideations. But now I feel like just doing it, but the consequences are going against my desires. You may call this good that I have second thoughts about it, but I'm getting tired of fighting this. It's the weekend and I can't talk to my therapist until Monday. I don't really want to share it because that's my little secret. I don't know what to do. My thoughts are conflicting each other and because I'm faced with a dilemma, I really am confused as to what to do next. I apologize to anyone who might get upset at me. I'm sorry.
     
  4. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    i do think it's great you're having second thoughts... i know if you were to do it, i sure would miss you- and not just because i reply to your threads, but because from what i've read, you seem a nice inteligent caring person- you seem to have a lot of hidden strength in you that you can't see yet.

    as for what to do next, i can't really say... i don't live your life- but i really do hope you find something that you can live for and get stronger
     
  5. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    Thanks, emily83. I cried and asked for divine intervention because the Lord gives me strength to deal with my desperation. I just took my morning medicine early so I can calm down some. I have to get a grip on myself because nobody can help me unless I help myself first. I know I need professional help and I'm going to try to admit to my counselors and psychiatrist about how much I've been struggling with suicidal ideations more than usual and it's leading into an action that I hope I won't give up and do it. It's so tempting, though, as if someone was dangling a carrot in front of a rabbit's nose, being that I am a rabbit. I will pray a lot today, being Sunday, it's a day to put aside and devote my faith in God and that he will comfort me and ask for healing. Thanks again, emily83 for your concern and feedback. I appreciate it.
     
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