Dilemma........

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Leiaha, Jul 6, 2009.

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  1. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    Do I tell my Psychologist, family, GP or the crisis team or none of them that once again I feel extremely suicidal after 4 months of feeling good?

    Before everyone starts yelling 'yes' consider this...... last time I did I ended up in hospital, I was threatened with being sectioned if I didn't go in voluntarily. Because I was in hospital, my daughter and her husband stopped talking to me for 6 weeks, during which I had to grovel to get them to speak to me again. Also while I was in hospital my youngest daughter stole £390 off me.
    Is it worth the hassle of going into hospital again? I'm scared witless of the consequences and am thinking maybe the best thing is to just get out now :(
     
  2. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    Well I guess this is something only you can really answer. If you think the hospital will help, then I say definately tell them about your feelings... I am sorry to hear what happened lasttime, I hope things go better now :hug:
     
  3. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    It's more a question of what damage will it cause to my relationships than how much it will help me. I'd rather my kids were happy than myself be well :(
     
  4. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    I think it's very important that you are happy too and i'm sure that your kids would agree. After all, they want they're mom to be happy too.
    I think tell them, but ultimately this is something only you can answer :hug:
    Good luck.
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello Leiaha,

    I think you need to focus more on your well being, if you believe a hospital stay will help you then go for it.
    I don't understand why your daughter and son in law stopped speaking to you?
    I hope you make the right decision :)
     
  6. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    You have as much right as your children to be happy and if been in hospital might help you to come to a happier place then I would go with it. Your children should understand when you are not well and be supportive instead of not speaking to you for weeks and stealing from you. I hope you will get the money back from your daughter
    take care sharon
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I can understand your delema but if you feel you are unsafe i think you should tell you therapist at least this. Ask him not to call hospital but to give you advice on how to keep yourself safe He or she needs to know because maybe they need to change your meds up Your kids need you well and healthy and to the ones who stop talking toyou well they obviously don't understand mental illness.
     
  8. nevertheanswer

    nevertheanswer Active Member

    Yes, make the right move and seek help. Your daughters will understand because you are taking the right steps into reconnecting with them. They were just confused on how to react to your situation. I'm sure they are now mature enough to reflect on that.

    It will only make matters worst if you don't do anything about it and we all don't want that happen, right?

    Take care.
     
  9. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    I saw my Psychologist this morning and didn't say a thing :unsure: I just wasn't brave enough :(
    Now I want to call her but, once again.... I'm not brave enough! Besides which, I don't know what to say :(
    Last night I tried to cut my wrist but only grazed it ..... that hurt enough :cry:
     
  10. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Please....read my thread that I put in my siggy.

    My g/f tells me that I deserve to be happy.

    SO DO YOU!

    Our emotions reflect onto our children.

    Think of the damage you would have caused them had you been successful at slicing your wrists.

    Be strong, stand up for you. And we are with you and pulling for you and love you here!!

    You can do this.
     
  11. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    If you are tempted to call your psych and let him know your true feelings, then it really is important for you to do. You need to do what you can to take care of yourself. You could tell your psych that the thoughts have returned, but at this point you do not intend to act on them. You want to know how to deal with things before you get to the next step. I am sorry you are struggling so much right now. :hug:
     
  12. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    I called her and told her everything so she is coming tomy house today with the Crisis Team to see what to do next. So long as it doesn't involve hospital again, I will be able to keep it quiet from my kids.
    She spooked me out on the 'phone, she so has me sussed! It's unbelieveable how much she 'knows' me...... scary!
    Thankyou all soooooo much for your support, I wish I could return it but, just now it's impossible :(

    Lea :grouphug:
     
  13. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Sis,
    If you think you need to go back in the hospital then by all means do so..Your kids will come around.. Your there mom and you have had a connection with them since birth.. I agree they sound as if they just don't unserstand mental health issues..
    Right now you need to do what is best for you.. You can talk to them later..If your phsyc and crisis team think you need to go then follow there advice they are the professionals.. It sounds as if you have a good support systemm..Take care!!
     
  14. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Phone and leave a msg on psychologist machine or just drop anote off letting know what is happening and your fears but let someone know before it gets worse get the help you deserve okay
     
  15. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    They came,they lied, they went :(
     
  16. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Can you explain more what you mean by that hun? Hope you are ok. :hug:
     
  17. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    They came round, they said they could understand why my daughter wouldn't want me to have anything to do with her baby, after all i 'do have frequent bouts of being extremely suicidal'. they said they would call me at 5pm and then again at 10pm to check on me because i said i wasn't sure i could last the day without attempting. They lied..... they didn't call once :(
    I laid it on the line, I did what everyone told me to do....I was completely honest with them and, it was very hard and extremely embarassing but, I did it. She said she wasn't convinced :unsure: there isn't much more I can do now :cry:
    i can't make it through tonight, any suggestions? I'm really struggling so please ..... no criticism, I get enough elsewhere :cry: It's sooooooooo hard!!!!
     
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