Dilusional or realistic

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smackh2o

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#1
I really need some talk about this with someone because I think i'm loosing my mind. Just need some feedback. I already brought this subject up once but it was taken all out of context so i'm starting again.
I get fascinated by hospitals.
I would love to work at one and be involved in the place and be there and I suppose just matter to people because i'm helping.
The problem is that i'm not sure if i'm deluded or not about it all.
The feeling those places give me are so scary. Every single spectrum of emotion seems to be there for me. I feel I need to be there. That if I don't I won't be fulfilled. I have dreams about being there.
I know that sounds a bit scary which is sort of why i'm asking if anyone gets the same feeling about something else? Like a sort of pining and emptiness. Decadance. I don't know how to describe it but it's like i'm missing something and i'm scared i'm really am loosing my mind finally.
 
#2
i think it's fine to want a particular career or job, but i'd take a good look at your motives, especially if it involves working with people at their most vulnerable. are you certain you would not be power-tripping. what specifically do you see yourself doing? nursing? social work? being a doctor? what kind of hospital interests you?

you say hospitals also scare you and they bring up a feeling of decadence? why is that? those two things are red flags for me, and suggest, on the surface at least, that working in a hospital would not be a good match,

catherine
 
#3
I feel the same when im in the place where i want to work. I can taste it, i want to spend everyday there, i can feel it in my vains, like something im destined to do.

I dont think its a problem probably, what do you want to do in the hospital?
 

smackh2o

SF Supporter
#4
I'de like to be a porter or a cardiographer. Something where i'm helping people out but not making life changing decisions for them. Just helping and being a part of something I guess I feel is so right. It's like the epicenter of everything for me. That one magical and horrible place, full of joy and despair. Working with people who honestly want to help other people out. Seeing people so sad at first but them being greenlighted and getting better. Even sharing the pain of people. It's all that seems to matter now career wise. I'm just so unsure because of what dazzle said which may be right but I don't feel inside that it is. That it isn't a good idea because of my situation. But I look at my other choices and I could be running a pub in a few years or be in a well paid IT job with my qualifications. They don't mean anything to me..
 
G

ggg456

#5
Hospitals are also full of "professionals" who don't give a fuck about their patients or anything, or are on a personal power trip themselves. There will be a few who will have some ethics when it comes to their jobs but the stories I've heard from the women in my family aren't pleasant and the women in my family aren't people I have much respect for anyway, but the stories I hear are horrifying.

Hospitals are also full of people dying, sick and not getting the help they need. They are full of people who are sick and tired of the lack of treatment they are getting. They are also full of people who won't
Seeing people so sad at first but them being greenlighted and getting better
do that. They are full of nurses running around not able to look after patients properly and getting to the point of not caring, or moving on to private hospitals because they feel so strongly- where they feel like they can take care of the patients better without going home and feeling like they nearly killed someone out of being rushed around like headless chickens all day.

I suppose it depends on the department you're working in but it's not utopia. I went into hospital today for a blood test and I just can't stand it there.
 
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