In the 80's when I was serving a Borstal (Young Offenders) sentence I achieved enhanced inmate status which allows extra privileges. One of these privileges is having the option to be released on temporary license (ROTL) each day to work outside in the community thus aiding your rehabilitation back into the community.Whilst working at a local residential home one of my charges I helped was quadriplegic (paralysed from the neck down). We got on quite well & when it came to two days before my release we parted & promised to keep in touch. The next day was discharge routine signing release papers & seeing the doc to make sure I was medically fit to be released (even if I was not I am definately not letting that stop me lol). Then the day after I was out of the gate. A week later I recieved a letter from Christine (she uses a typewriter tapping the keys with a pencil in her mouth like a demented wodpecker lol) I promptly replied. We wrote to each other week by week until I decided I would turn up & suprise her, We hugged hello and we sat talking over coffee and she invited me for lunch. Her personal carer left me to feed Christine. At the end of the day we parted with my promise I would come & see her every week, which I did. Eventually I asked staff if I could take her out for the day. They were dubious but allowed me to, but with a nurse chaperoning us as an observor to see if I could cope with Christine's needs, We went round a safari park as where else can you take a paralysed person in a wheelchair? Little did I know the possibilities are endless which I will come to later. During the day came the awkward situation: "I need to go to the toilet". I looked at the nurse. "You're on your own there Nick, I am just an observor". So I took Christine to the toilet trying not to look but Christine, obviously sensing my embarrassment made joke of the situation. Knickers back on we carried on with our day out. Back at the residential home I put Christine to bed whilst staff discussed whether I could cope with Christine's need alone. They called me into the office and approved further days out. So from then on Christine & I had weekly days out without a chaperone Each week I decided I needed to broaden Christine's horizons & become more adventurous within the scope of what she is able to do. So we went to restaurants, theatre, cinema & I even invited her back home to meet my parents brother & sister. Mum pulled me aside & asked me if I knew what I was taking on. I said yes I was. At restaurants it was often the "Does she take sugar?" scenario or "What would the lady like to order?" all addressed to me to which I would reply: "How do I ******* know, ask her!" We had a relationship together, as much as you can in our situation. Sex never came into it, though I suspect Christine craved it; but that for me was a strict no-no as it would be rape on my part however consenting she is to sex. We hugged cuddled kissed as Claire & I indulge in all the time now. But Christine did not push it obviously realising how uncomfortable I was with the issue Anyway, the point of this thread is how would you cope as an able bodied person in a relationship with someone totally paralysed and totally reliant on you for their daily needs; for their life? Not doing something could result in their death. Christine was kept alive by a car battery under her wheelchair which powered her respirator.