I understand why I have been banned from chat, because I was triggering people and I was being too emotional. I also understand that the only emotion that should be expressed in the chat room is love, something that I'm not capable of. It is ok, it will only reinforce the fact that I am an outsider. When I am myself, it is not ok, and I will be shown the door by somebody. But I do have feelings, and when I feel them, somebody or myself will get hurt badly. I know whoever it was, was just doing their job, I'm not angry with them. I'm only angry with myself as usual, for not trying suppress my feelings more than I can.