Disappearing.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Azumi, Dec 5, 2009.

  1. Azumi

    Azumi Well-Known Member

    I'm starting to go down hill. I tried going out the other night to have fun, a night with the girls. ... It started out great. But at the end of the night, all I wanted to do was cry and curl up and disappear.
    What's not helping is that I'm sick..and I hate myself for it. I'm pretty sure that since I'm sick I got everyone around me sick as well.
    I've been trying to avoid going to the hospital but I think I'm going to have to go.
    I feel like crap all the time. I'm trying to figure out what I need to do with my life, and I'm just so confused. Everything is so confusing.
    I seem to be on an emotional rollercoaster that seems to just keep going down. I keep pretending that everything is okay, but it's not. I'm hurting in more than one way, I want it to just disappear... I want to disappear.
     
  2. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    :hug:
     
  3. sucidalgirl99

    sucidalgirl99 Well-Known Member

    I'm feeling the same way, so please free to PM me.
     
  4. Little_me

    Little_me Well-Known Member

    Here's a hug :hug:
     
  5. Dharma4815162342

    Dharma4815162342 Well-Known Member

    Well at least you made the effort of trying to go out with your girlfriends. I have had many similar experiences. I will go to social gatherings in the hope of a miracle happening and actually having fun and then coming home just totally dissapointed and crying myself to sleep. The advice I have is to just NOT GIVE UP! Eventually being in social situations will be easier and you will actually learn to have fun. I know its difficult but it will happen eventually.

    I'm the same as you, I hate going to doctors. I was sick a couple of months ago and it took my throat beign so swollen I couldnt breathe to finally get me to go. But I went and tho it took several doctors and lots of pills I eventually did feel better. Which was a huge relief.

    Just hang in there!
     
  6. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Sometimes trying to act like everything is normal makes me feel worse. I know how odd that sounds, but facing everything head on can sometimes be like exhaling. Because you are getting to the bottom of your problems.

    I may need to take my own advice here because I am hurting bad also, and I'm trying to do normal things and go about my life as if I'm not depressed, suicidal and in excruciating amounts of mental pain. But the fact of the matter is - I am.
    And I can't be 'normal' until I start to REALLY look into and attempt to fix what is wrong.