Disappointed I Woke Up

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Forgotten_Man, Aug 3, 2010.

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  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    This morning I woke up, and I was sad I woke up. It was weird, normally when I wake up depressed I am angry. This is the first time I just felt like crying because I woke up. Which has ruined my day right from the start. I guess it is ok I am sad, after all I do not feel as reckless or impulsive. When I look out the window at work I think, "God why am I awake?", instead of "I wonder how log it would take me to black out" or "I wonder how much force that window can withstand". I don't know this is just such a weird feeling. I am just falling into my own pit of despair... and I do not want to wake up... yet I cannot find the will to sit in my van.
     
  2. whoaaxxsamm

    whoaaxxsamm Well-Known Member

    I've felt that way many times. I'd wake up either feeling angry at the fact that I'm still on this earth dealing with the same issues, or I'd feel completely depressed and hopeless.

    There is obviously a reason that you are still here. Try to think about what you live for when you are feeling this way.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    sadness is okay let it out though try okay i amt there as well today yet have to get up get things done noone else will do it. rest for awhile then maybe call your doctor keep in touch let know how you are okay stay safe
     
  4. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @whoaaxxsamm: I think fear of death is the only thing keeping me here now. That comes and goes.

    @~violet~: :( I just hate having to work a full day. Plus I cannot cancel my personal training. I guess being busy all day will keep me safe right? I really need To find a doctor.
     
  5. Endlessagony

    Endlessagony Well-Known Member

    I don't know what you're going through but I can tell it's serious. If you're really suffering why not share some of it here? (I'm new here so forgive me if you've already done that). Can't really do anything other than listen but venting can also be good.
     
  6. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Thanks friend, for me it is a number of things. The over-arching theme being I have no right to be depressed. Especially since my life is pretty good compared to most peoples.

    Sorry I am really tired can I pm You more detail later?
     
  7. Endlessagony

    Endlessagony Well-Known Member

    Yes absolutely! Btw I think it's silly to think you have no right to be depressed, you have all the right as does all of us. Feelings are totally subjective after all, no one can tell you your feelings are wrong. Hit me up with a PM and I'll be glad to chat. Take care!
     
  8. rx4brdm

    rx4brdm Well-Known Member

    Quit holding back, get help! SF helps a lot, but obviously it is not the answer to your problem.

    Take the next step.
     
  9. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I agree with Ben....
    You really need to find a doc ASAP.....maybe try some meds..
    you don't have to put up with feeling so sad all the time.....
     
  10. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    sorry.

    I think that's a common thing among depressed people...
    I'm always really disappointed when I wake up.
    I always kinda hope that I could go to sleep forever-- and that would be it.

    I would normally say-- keep yourself busy.
    It sounds like you are keeping busy though... so the only other thing I can really say is: think about what makes you happy (if there is still such a thing for you) and do that as much as you can!

    and talk if it helps you feel any better.
     
  11. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I can think about what used to make me happy. Nothing seems to make me happy anymore. Yet another reason why I want to die.
     
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