I started to get excited when I saw 'Suicide, 10 methods to die'. I know I don't read things properly because I'm so distracted with pain but I really did have some hope there until I read it. I thought it would give hope to people like me with proper decent advice on how to end your life. There are people like me who are desperate to go, I mean DESPERATE to die. Seeing that written on this site gave me the biggest buzz in years that I might get decent advice. But it turned out to be a cruel lie. It was not a method in how to end your suffering. It was some kind of information on what makes people want to die. Well anyone coming on this site knows only too well what makes people want to die. People like me don't want to be persuaded to live we just want help in ending it as it's so painful to live this life. In my case it's mainly physical pain and feeling trapped that makes me want to die. I am alone, without help and disabled in my flat and ignored mainly by the state. They give me meds for my physical condition which has no effect and I have not got out of my flat in over a decade. I would have done a lot better if I had committed some awful crime and been doing time in a prison cos they let you have an hour of sun there a day I've been lead to believe. I used to be a sun worshiper and it worked as an anti-depressant for me when I was out on my bike all the time. The nearest I get to the sun is seeing it on the net. I'm very bitter about my situation and just want to not be here. I have no friends, no nothing except a very aware brain that makes every second of this living hell feel like a million years. The awful thing is I think I've got a reasonably funny personality and can have a laugh but anyone who had to endure my life for the past 11 years would be crying all the time as it's been horrific due to me not getting proper medical attention and also being abused for years by a boyfriend I was relying on for help. Just saying, don't give people hope when there is none... it's downright mentally cruel, really cruel cos I thought any advice on this site would be proper medical advice on how to die in the best way possible with no pain, cos after all the only reason I want to get out is because I'm in intense pain.