Often times after a unsuccessful attempt, I feel sadness, anger, and frustration, all towards myself. Sadness for not being successful and in a warped way letting everyone down by not doing it. Anger for attempting it when people have told me to stop. And frustration, because I feel I wasn't strong enough. I remember when I was 16, my uncle was called after a unsuccessful attempt, and he said "how could you be soo selfish after what happened to those people in july" that really cuts me, even today when I think back. I always feel if I could take their place, if I could take anyone's place, people who deserve to live more then me, then I'd take it in a instant. I think everyones felt like that at somepoint.