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My dad says that what he does is for my own good and that i need the discipline but when does it cross over and get called abuse? Sometimes i think he is going too far but then other times i think that he is right that i do need discipline and that i do need to be punished for things ive done and do. And then sometimes i think that hes just gettin revenge for what he thinks i did when maybe it wasnt me it was something else but i guess he can only see me as the cause. He wasnt always like this people tell me. before he was so nice and gentle but all that happened destroyed him and he became like this. so maybe i helped make it like it is even tho maybe i didnt mean to. i am scared of him and i try really hard to make him like me and forgive me. i have to call him sir not dad and i'm not supposed to speak to him unless he speaks to me first. Sometimes he wont say sorry but he will sort of by saying that i dont have to go to school or that hes only doin it because i need it and he wants to get the bad out of me becaus i was born with a badness in me and thats why it all happened. When he does that i say that its ok sir and i know u did it for me to make me good like u sir. So maybe hes right. But sometimes i think hes not. I would like to live somewhere else but sometimes when hes drunk way too much and he is on his own he looks at photos and cries and says that he doesnt want to be alone so i dont want to leave him.


Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
what you're saying sounds like hideous mental abuse.

whatever your dad's probs and he obviously is going thru some really bad stuff,
you need to be safe and not made to feel bad about yourself.

I'm a parent, there has never been a time that I have told my son he is bad, or made him call me anything but mum.

please hun, if you have relatives, tell them what's going on. Failing that perhaps a trusted teacher or school counsellor. This is definetly abuse.


Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
hun, whatever it is, you can say it, just pm me so its just between us 2.

Even if my son had killed someone it wouldnt change the way I feel about him.
Hun, he has brain washed you. I don't think that you were born with a badness and even if you have made mistakes oh well, everyone has and he has no right to treat you like that. Noone should ever be treated that way. EVER. I am here if you need to talk.....you don't have to be isolated anymore...I'm here. :hug:

~With love,


Account Closed
Thats what i was thinking: My mum HELPS me, i wouldnt survive without her, before i she started the abuse or should i say: before i got the abuse.

Sometimes parents in my oppinion try to belittle you for their own adantage. To feel better, stronger etc....than someone else.

If you dont agree with this, you can ignore it.

Good luck
don't defend your father. he doesn't deserve it. what he is doing is wrong. it's all manipulation. he's got you brainwahed. i had a step-father who was just like him and i use to defend him the same way your doing with your dad. you need to find some way to helphim though, if you can. but first, you need to help yourself, and do what's best for you and not for him.

i wish you luck


Well-Known Member
BE FREE!!! The only thing connecting you to him is guilt, doubt, fear, and self-loathing - all of these things which he cleverly hounded into you. But the moment you say ENOUGH and break free from all these insecurities- you are truly free to reach your potential and become the person that you want to be.

This is YOUR LIFE, not your fathers, nor anyone elses. YOU need to take control of it. Take the initiative, don't just wait around waiting for things to happen.

See, you need to choose in this critical moment of decision.

Should you just endure it, and continue to put up with him? Continue to take his shit because you feel sorry for him? Because you fool yourself into believing- because you want to believe in it so much- that beyond that icy, demonic exterior, your dad actually cares for you and loves you?

HA! Love you my ass. Yeah, reality hurts. The truth is, you're like his stress reliever, something to keep around so that when he feels like shit he can take his pent-up frusteration out on.

Sure, after he abuses you, he acts remorseful and might even apologize, saying, "It'll never happen again. I'm so sorry." People like that don't change! Don't wait around hoping that he will!

But you see, it's an endless cycle- he hurts you, heals your wounds, then hurts you again. So if you want to stay like that then fine, no problem, but I'm telling you this just so you can at least be aware of the truth of what's going on.

You're not the problem. He is. So DO WHAT I TOLD YOU TO DO ages and ages ago, and SEEK HELP.

BREAK THAT disgusting bond that exists between you and your father, and seek a new beginning! Seek a new life!

There's so many places to go, so many different people to meet- so much that you can achieve and do. You can make a name for yourself, and maybe one day you can help people who were just like you. You'll feel alive.

Yeah, the breaking-free step will be most painful- I'm not saying that it isn't- and you might even suffer guilt trips and you'll go through a dark, depressing period, but after that, you'll be glad that you did what you did and you'll be happy.

Here, go to these links:



That should pretty much tell you everything.

I'm telling you, this is your choice. Just because you come here and tell everyone your problems, does not mean that they can help you. You need to gather resources and info-like I'm giving to you now- and take the initiative. This is not a place for counseling. It's just a place to talk about your problems, and to talk to people about them- even if nobody can truly fix your problems. Do that for yourself and talk to your school counselor and tell him/her everything- but make sure your dad doesn't find out before you do.
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