My dad says that what he does is for my own good and that i need the discipline but when does it cross over and get called abuse? Sometimes i think he is going too far but then other times i think that he is right that i do need discipline and that i do need to be punished for things ive done and do. And then sometimes i think that hes just gettin revenge for what he thinks i did when maybe it wasnt me it was something else but i guess he can only see me as the cause. He wasnt always like this people tell me. before he was so nice and gentle but all that happened destroyed him and he became like this. so maybe i helped make it like it is even tho maybe i didnt mean to. i am scared of him and i try really hard to make him like me and forgive me. i have to call him sir not dad and i'm not supposed to speak to him unless he speaks to me first. Sometimes he wont say sorry but he will sort of by saying that i dont have to go to school or that hes only doin it because i need it and he wants to get the bad out of me becaus i was born with a badness in me and thats why it all happened. When he does that i say that its ok sir and i know u did it for me to make me good like u sir. So maybe hes right. But sometimes i think hes not. I would like to live somewhere else but sometimes when hes drunk way too much and he is on his own he looks at photos and cries and says that he doesnt want to be alone so i dont want to leave him.