Discouraged and Exhausted

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Meen, Sep 26, 2012.

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  1. Meen

    Meen New Member

    I have just survived living with my addict boyfriend for two and a half years. He is 5 months into recovery and I have been going to Al-anon meetings for the past 10 months. I thought I was doing well...working hard and doing my best to get better. I still love my boyfriend. He's moved out, but we are still together. He does not recognize my efforts - he thinks I am just being optimistic about my recovery. I have been struggling in my recovery (from the effects of living with an addict)...I feel like I take one step forward and two steps back. I have been seeing a therapist, taking anti-depressants, going to the gym, yoga, keeping busy, but I still constantly feel fear and anxiety. I am exhausted. I just want the pain to end.
  2. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    Hi, Meen. Welcome to SF.

    I am no expert on recovery programs or addiction, but I will say that I think it doesn't make much sense to take the word of your boyfriend on the progress you have made towards recovery. That is something only you and perhaps your therapist or the people are your al-anon group can judge. It sounds to me like you're doing your best to get some control over your life and get healthy. That is good. Do not allow others to say it is not enough.
  3. Struggler_

    Struggler_ Active Member

    Regardless of your feelings toward your boyfriend, while in recovery, you need to be focusing on what's best for you at all times. If he's an obstacle to your recovery, he's best moved past and left behind. It may seem excessive looking at now, while you're still seeing him, but you'll see just how necessary it was down the road. People you date can be an incredible detriment to your recovery, trust me. They're either drinking and doing drugs while you're trying to kick them, or they're just a downer and don't support you in your efforts--which is completely necessary when in recovery. Support is one of the most important factors.

    You may love him, but sometimes you need to do what's best for just yourself. Even if you don't want to leave him behind completely, tell him you need to spend some time apart for the sake of your recovery. If he understands, he cares for you and wants the best for you as well. If he doesn't, then he likely isn't who you should be seeing to begin with--at least not now.

    When in recovery, radical changes are usually needed in multiple aspects of your life; your love life may be part of that.
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