disgusted

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by among the stars, Aug 14, 2013.

  1. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    I dunno why I keep coming back here. I sit in chat and get so agitated and disgusted with people. I have very little patience for people now and yes I know that is my fault. everything is fucking my fault. I room hop or I come in and out a lot, its not because im having fucking pc issues or whatever.. its because im torn as whether I want to sit here and listen and hurt myself or if I want to be alone and physically hurt myself. I honestly don't know which is worse. I don't talk, I don't force my shit on anyone else.. why bother. everyone has there own shit they don't need more. I kno I need to be in chat even if its just sitting in a room all alone and yet am I even wanted in there or am I just a burden to all of them... im disgusted with everything in life but mostly with myself.
     
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    I'm in chat a lot and if you ever feel a need to talk, just hit me up. You will not be a burden to me, honest.
     
  3. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    i don't know what to say or how to help. but you can talk to me in there any time if you want to.
     
  4. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    thanks pick. I want to talk so bad sometimes but getting it out is so damn hard. I don't openly talk about whats going on very often.
     
  5. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    I look at all of u in there and hate myself because I will never get to that point. I will never be normal, never be able to joke around like that without feeling the need to injure myself badly afterwards. time doesn't heal anything, time only creates more pain.
     
  6. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    if you see me loling in there it's because if i voiced how i truly felt people would start dropping like flies. maybe pming to talk about these might help and you can experience genuine laughter one day. oh btw i'm waiting on vids from your win on sunday!!!
     
  7. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    please stay around.

    it's better to talk to us than to just suffer alone in silence

    i don't use chat, but i use the forums quite a bit and i'm always open for conversation
     
  8. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    sometimes my temper (which I never used to have) gets the better of me but I know when to retreat before I say something that could get me banned. I kno saying f u to a mod would only be the beginning. I don't say how I really feel, I don't like the question 'how are you' because I always have to lie and im really beginning to dislike being hugged. that's all it took for me tonight to lose it... and then someone took offense will excuse me u ass but not everyone appreciates it when they don't feel well. I apologized and if you cant accept that then screw u. I don't need u or anyone