• Hi - if you have tried to donate and found that it hasn't worked please can you hit me up in PM? (Freya) I am trying to figure out with paypal what the issue is and they are asking for more data. It doesn't seem to be affecting everyone. Thank you so much :)
  • Hi - It is possible that I have figured out part of the problem with the donations. I believe that if you try to use paypal balance or your debit/credit card that should work now. Bank transfer still seems glitchy. If you try with a card and it fails please can you let me know? Fingers crossed that part is resolved though. Thanks so much for the support - Freya

Disgusted

#1
I just read the "Deleting Accounts and Name Changes," and I have to say this is the most appalling thing I've come across in quite awhile. Do the administrators of this site actually think people coming here are in the mood or state of mind to peruse through the bullshit guidelines? They come here for help, and they should be allowed to put up, take down and change their accounts as they see fit, just like on any other site. To be reminded by some scummy administrator in such a blasé, condescending tone to be careful on the internet about what information to include in your suicidal thoughts, so as to avoid future public embarrassment, is just beyond words. (Since--oh hey, you might not have realized this, suicidal person, but everything you put up here is permanent!) This is supposed to be a site for people on the verge of killing themselves! What the hell is wrong with you people? Pathetic, pathetic stuff. It would be funny if it weren't so sad. Thanks, jokers.
 

Aurelia

Will you love me or leave me forever?
#2
I mean, I agree with you for the most part. But I hope you understand that it's not necessarily the administrator's choice. There are certain laws and regulations that apply as far as suicidal tendencies are concerned. So if anything, blame the shitty society we are forced to live in.
 
#3
There are certain laws and regulations that need to be followed concerning medical conditions. Nothing can be stored by the administrator. it is not thier choice. It's also your choice if you want to post here or not.
 

JmpMster

Have a question? Message Me
Staff member
Forum Owner
ADMIN
#4
There is no account for you to delete- the only thing you use is a username - which cannot be used again so that people are not confused by who is posting or believe that it is somebody else posting- so usernames are all unique and one time use. Other than that- a made up user name- we collect no personal identifying information. We never ask for name or address or any personal information- therefore there is NO ACCOUNT TO DELETE . That is why we do not "delete accounts" because there is no account to delete and nothing with your name / adress or any personal identifying information to delete.

It states in numerous places to use a unique user name/ not real name or name you use on other sites- and if thta is the issue we can easily correct that- just send a letter to admin and we can change a user name so that a person cannot be recognized from it. So no, being embarrassed by something you write- when nobody can tell who in the entire worlkd wrote it- is not an issue.
 

JacsMom

Staff Alumni
#5
First of all, I am sorry you are going through a rough time. But all chat sites have rules that have to be followed, for the safety of everyone, especially on a suicide forum. As for name changes, if members were allowed to change their names willy nilly, no one would ever have any idea who they were speaking with....there are thousands who use the site. As for the rules and guidelines, you obviously read them so why wouldn't others? Everything is anonymous here, so you can't be exposed to "public embarrassment". This is a wonderful place to receive support. Maybe you should give it a chance before condemning it?
 

Sunspots

SF Daydreamer
Staff member
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#6
Hi @Tired and Resigned

As has been stated above, there are laws regarding such information.

Also many of the rules here have come about from the long term experience of this site. If I could just draw your attention to the quote below taken from the guidelines..

"The reason for this is that people regularly want to isolate themselves in difficult periods and later regret having asked for their account to be closed. We do not wish to leave anyone without support for any reason, particularly not if they are having an especially difficult time. Since we store no personal information there is no personal information" to delete and the user name must be reserved by keeping it held to prevent future confusion of names and posts so accounts are not deleted."

I know from personal experience that there would have been several times I would have deleted all my content. And looking back, that would probably have been the wrong thing to do. Maybe someone in the future might come across one of my posts or a response to it that really helps them.

I've been a member here for a while and this site has been so amazingly helpful and supportive. I hope you'll maybe give it a chance to offer you the same kind of support if you still feel like you need it...
 

Cynic Goat

The quiet goat of justice
SF Pro
SF Supporter
#7
You say this like it should be immediately obvious to everyone, but there have been cases in which these rules have had to be applied to people's posts, and i can speak from personal experience, that there have been times when some part of me has wanted to post personal information such as my name or face, and if it hadn't been for that rule, i may well have done it. But that could have been to my detriment later, as i would have struggled more to be so open about things, knowing that everyone knew my name and what my face looked like.

As for the rules and guidelines, they're in place to follow the law, and to facilitate the kind of environment this place is designed to be, where everyone feels safe, and as comfortable as possible with discussing what can be extremely sensitive and personal matters. Perhaps you feel it isn't appropriate for your sake, but i have seen at least one point where each of these rules has been shown to be potentially beneficial to the progress and wellbeing of members of this site. You have to remember that this place is designed to accommodate and assist people from a wide range of backgrounds, experiences, and mindsets, so the rules have to allow for that.
 

Acy

Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense
Staff member
Safety & Support
#8
Hi, @Tired and Resigned - I’m assuming you are on the site because you were/are suffering with suicidal thoughts/feelings. I’m sorry you have been so low. Those kinds of feelings are what have brought most members here. I’m sorry you’re dealing with them.

The rules are not meant to be - and to most members don’t come across as - condescending. You might be right that most people these days are aware of the risks posed by using the internet. From a site’s point of view, “most” people is not all people. On this site, we offer a word of caution to all just in case someone is not as internet savvy as you.

The rules are intended to protect members’ safety and anonymity - hence, no illegal activities are condoned, no methods discussed/described, no harm/threats to self or others and no identifying information. It’s a online micro-world that is a safe place because every member is responsible for keeping it safe by following the rules. I’m sorry you felt they were condescending - just know that maybe you’re more aware or experienced than some who land on this site, and the rules are not meant as a personal comment on anyone, they are just a means of helping people stay safe.
 

CodeX

Controversial Figure
SF Artist
#9
I don't like rules either. I don't like moderators or anyone editing my post, deleting my chat. It frustrates me but at the end it is the person who owns the site gets to decide what is right and what is wrong for the site and I get it.
Also if you reverse this then everyone will get to decide what is wrong and what is right for the site which is not ideal either. At the end every major website has rules, be it facebook, twitter, reddit, stackoverflow you name it. There is no escape from rules.
 

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