Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Allo.., Jul 10, 2010.

  1. Allo..

    Allo.. Well-Known Member

    I am so, so disgusted at what you did to me.
    I can't believe you took that from me, when i was so young.
    How DARE you make that decision for me.
    Or accept my decision, when i was so damn vulnerable.
    SOmeone like that CANNOT make those kinds of decisions.
    how dare you put me in that position!
    How dare you nag and nag and ask and ask.
    how dare you let me.
    how dare you do that to me.
    i hate you.
    i hate what you did.
    i hate what you put me through.
    i hate that i did it.

    i hate how you make me feel now.

    i am so glad that i have finally managed to stop hating myself for it.
    however, i feel guilty that i am so angry at you.
    when you were young and vulnerable too.
    but i hate you.
    and i can't help hating what you did.
    oh i hate hate HATE it.

    and you have no idea.
    NO IDEA.

    how can I just let it go?
    how can I not be damaged and hurt and feel UTTERLY DISGUSTED every time I think of it?

    please make it go away.
    i Cant STAND it.

    you are killing me. you are breaking down my insides.
    please take it away.
  2. Allo..

    Allo.. Well-Known Member

    And now,
    the first I have wanted to cut in... goodness knows how long.
    you disgust me.

    i think i will tonight.
    just one.
    wow, big move.

  3. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Ally, i've known you a few years now and i know we've not talked for a long while but i can hand of heart say that you are one of the strongest, bravest girls that i have ever come across and you can make it through the temptation of cutting, i know you can. I'm here if you need to talk, rant or whatever at someone. Stay strong because a lot of people love you, myself included.

    Miss you loads xx
  4. Allo..

    Allo.. Well-Known Member

    i realise this is a bit out of date but,
    thank you vikki :)
    i beat it :)
    i didn't give in, and i am so, so happy i didn't.
    Thank you for being here for me lovey :hug:
  5. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    proud of you :hug:
  6. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Sorry I missed this thread a week ago :sad:

    Hope you're feeling better now, Ally, and you can always send me a message or whatever if you want to talk or are having a hard time or just want some good music :wink:

    You're one of a kind, Ally. You're ace.

  7. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Hallelujah! I am so happy that you beat this urge. Keep on holding onto hope! Blessings.. :hug: