I am so, so disgusted at what you did to me. I can't believe you took that from me, when i was so young. How DARE you make that decision for me. Or accept my decision, when i was so damn vulnerable. SOmeone like that CANNOT make those kinds of decisions. how dare you put me in that position! How dare you nag and nag and ask and ask. how dare you let me. how dare you do that to me. i hate you. i hate what you did. i hate what you put me through. i hate that i did it. i hate how you make me feel now. i am so glad that i have finally managed to stop hating myself for it. however, i feel guilty that i am so angry at you. when you were young and vulnerable too. but i hate you. and i can't help hating what you did. oh i hate hate HATE it. and you have no idea. NO IDEA. how can I just let it go? how can I not be damaged and hurt and feel UTTERLY DISGUSTED every time I think of it? please make it go away. i Cant STAND it. please. you are killing me. you are breaking down my insides. please take it away.