Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Emberfire, May 23, 2014.

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  1. Emberfire

    Emberfire Member

    I might word this wrong, maybe spell things wrong so forgive me.
    I'm living with my mother, right now she's away for surgery and won't be back, we look after my gran who has dementia and has had schizophrenia all of her life. As these types of things go we are cleaning up after her all the time but unlike normal circumstances she is constantly aggressive and my mum doesn't want carer's to see how bad it is, pride maybe. She's been an aggressive person all of her life from my mums childhood to my own my memories of her are all fairly bad. Either way now she is frail skeleton like and under my care completely while my mum is in hospital, I can't do it but I can't phone anyone to come help, the house is disgusting and has been for some time, perhaps even before my gran. I've troed so hard to change the cycle of this house and I've come to the conclusion that it will never chamge and that I should leave.. but how can I leave my stubborn mum after surgery with my gran who picks on weaknesses. How can I escape the dump that surrounds me. Family don't see how bad it is and anyone that comes to see my gran is taken to a flat in a sheltered home even though we use it rarely. It's not healthy for any of us but I am trapped I don't feel safe in my own home.. Sometimes I feel like I might combust with worry about it.

    Maybe it would be better if we didn't have my gran but how do I convice my mum to sort out an alternative home? I've been through a lot in my life but I've never felt this trapped before. I'm suffocating in filth.
  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    If you feel you are not coping then there are people you can call who may be able to offer you some help. It sounds like your mum is in denial about how bad it's all gotten so maybe you need to take the reins and say "Look we are not coping, we need help" and phone for some help or start looking at care homes for your gran. If you feel you cannot cope while your mum is away then do phone emergency social services for some help. You don't deserve to be in this position :hug:
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