Disillusioned. A word that comes to mind when I think of this site. What once was a haven, is now a hell. The false hopes, the comforting lies, whenever there is any comfort, if there is any at all. The empty promise. The bullshit lies. Is one to believe what they see any more? A pro life site, of no medical support, is purely just a breeding zone for a persons misery, a place to whinge and complain, yet do nothing at all. Sometimes I wonder whether a site like this should survive, before a mass cull of the unsupported misery... and then the disillusionment sets in. What they once thought existed there, was never there at all. Why should one feel such thoughts and feelings to a site...? I have become a shadow myself, I sit in the chat room, in a room alone to further confirm my worthlessness, my non existence to the world... my unimportance. I am just another miserable loner on the site, who through her own doing is incapable of doing the simplest of tasks to better herself. But thats the whole story of the site... Countless members, countless woes, and yet no effort to better themselves, really? Is this a support site or a breeding zone. Misery joins misery, and comfort fades. A competition of who has it worse, a selfish arrogance from a few I shall not name. Words... thats what it comes down to... a whole load of words that mean absolutely nothing. And should one say the worst of all... it gets forgotten and tossed aside... a few short days and they are placed upon a list of ones who didnt make it. Yet these losses do not deter us, we see the world with shuttered eyes. With blindness or tunnel vision, we only want one thing. And perhaps until we get what we wish there is no living, there is no surviving. I often think of people in a less than favourable light from their responses, I used to manage to hold myself back but really what worth is there to it. I won't butter things up any more nor will I do so for this site. What bothers me greatly is my inability to stay away. It becomes somewhat of an addiction to come and see what I can see each day, to read about how others are doing. Once now and then I find a post to which I can offer some words of what are attempted to be supportive, but really they are just an offer of a comforting lie. I know so many of you will reject my view at this moment, I do not doubt that, perhaps I will be downtrodden for it. An opinion of my own is no less valid to yours or your friends. But I ask you this... are you really going anywhere, or just breeding on your own misery?