Disorder or just an odd behavior?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Hurted, Jan 5, 2011.

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  1. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    Recently i met someone who obviously doesn't understand "unwritten social rules".
    When i met him, I though he was a cool person who could become my friend.
    So we went on a drink. We had discussion and everything was OK. The problems occured on a second time. When i came to the bar, there was another his friend sitting ther. He didn't mentioned or asked me if he can invite anyone else, which is something one should do, considering the fact i didn't know his friend. It seemed that neither his friend was awared that i would come.

    We met once more, he called me and invited me to go out with him. So on that friday we went out. But when we came to the club, he suddenly called 3 "friends ". They were really surprised to see me, as he didn't told anyone I will come, just as i wasn't aware that he also called his other friends. As I was really embarassed, i went home early.

    The other time, when we were on a drink, he suddenly went out of a bar, to say hello to his friend who he saw outside. I was really shocked. He also asked me if i could pay, because he doesn't have much money. He invinted me on a drink, and then he asks me if i can pay after he ordered. That just doesn't seem right.

    Now i'm thinking whenether I should ever met him again. We have a lot in common, like music and movies, but his behaviour just seems unacceptable.
    Does this behaviour fit any personality disorder or is that "friend" of mine just unawared of "social rules"?

    Any kind of an answer will be appriciated.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    He sounds like a user No i would not have paid his way it was his invite. I would not go out with him again he is very rude and inconsiderate the whole evening is about him lose him okay you deserve better
  3. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    Have you tried talking to him?
  4. Infortunatus

    Infortunatus Guest

    Narcissistic or antisocial personality traits.
  5. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    This seems very odd to me. I suppose as Infortunatus said, he might be narcissistic or have antisocial personality traits, or he may just be behaving strangely. Personally, I would have nothing more to do with him, because his behaviour is rude and could cause trouble.

  6. erro

    erro Member

    Well...behavior is very subjective, and there are countless different people on this planet...his actions could probably be explained by his coming from a different background or culture, a misunderstanding between you two, or him just being inconsiderate in general. I don't think the points you gave are suggestive of any sort of disorder since his actions don't seem that out of the ordinary, but hey, I'm not a trained professional. :p
  7. nobody man

    nobody man Well-Known Member

    The question i pose to you is, does it matter?
    Whether it's a disorder or not, you still have 3 options; continue putting up with it, stop putting up with it, or confront him. What are you going to do?
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I would loose him.. He's a user and will eventually put you in a bad place..
  9. sinnssykdom

    sinnssykdom Banned Member

    i would ditch him

    Maybe even 'suddenly run out and meet a friend without paying'. :D
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 8, 2011
  10. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    Agree with Sinns give him a taste of his medicine. Take no money with you or something and then ditch :p.

    Not that this is an immature response or anything.
  11. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    Thank you for all replies. I will consider them bevore deceiding what to do.
  12. Tim.

    Tim. SF Emoti-King

    My impression is that you are relatively shy, while this guy is an extrovert. I would guess that he simply doesn't realize that you are uncomfortable in these situations.

    If you're not involved in the early stages of a romantic relationship, then people do things like invite other people out or step outside to say 'hello' to a passing friend or answer their cell phone while out with you. Ideally they do so in a way that is not uncomfortable for you, but some people are not as good at that as others.

    The money thing is only an issue if it is repetitive and one sided, or if it's some huge amount. Friends cover each other all the time. If it's always him asking for you to pay and never offering to return the favor, then I would recommend saying no to his requests. If he won't accept you saying no, if he gets angry at you, then he's probably not worth hanging out with.

    My recommendation is to take the opportunity to step out of your comfort zone and meet new people. If you like this guy you'll probably like his friends. Alternatively you could let the guy know you are uncomfortable with these things. Just be a little careful with the money thing.
  13. johnnysays

    johnnysays Well-Known Member

    Believe me, if he was antisocial he wouldn't even be on a date. Stop blaming everything on people who aren't socially gifted.

    I think he doesn't want to commit. He just wants to be friends. He wants the standards real low.
  14. johnnysays

    johnnysays Well-Known Member

    I pretty much agree with you, especially on the bolded part but I do think he's moving slow because he's afraid or unsure of any kind of boyfriend/girlfriend commitment. So he's going slow and hoping she goes slow too.
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